Option F

Have you ever wanted to scream at the insipid robovoice that’s not even coming close to solving the problem you called about? Well, you don’t need to raise your voice, necessarily, but you might want to try coarsening your language a bit:

Some years ago I called the Dell 800 number to get some help with my computer. After going through various Q&As to establish that I needed technical assistance, the automated voice asked me to name the type of computer I was asking about. “Vostro 220,” I said. Pause. “I’m sorry, I don’t recognize that name. Please tell me what computer you are asking about.” “Vostro 220,” I repeated, enunciating slowly and clearly. Same response. After about four iterations of this I said, “It’s a fucking Vostro 220, for fuck’s sake.” Pause. “OK, it seems you need to speak to an operator. Please wait while I transfer you.”

You probably don’t want to go off this way on an actual person unless said person is behaving robotically, as though deviating from the script would result in instant derezzing.

1 comment

  1. ETat »

    8 August 2015 · 7:42 am

    ….aaaand, once again

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