We’ve disconnected our home alarm system and quit our candy-ass Neighborhood Watch.
Bought two Pakistani flags on eBay and raised them in the front yard … One at each corner, plus a black flag of ISIS in the center.
Now, the local police, sheriff, FBI, CIA, NSA, Homeland Security, Secret Service and other agencies are all watching the house 24/7.
I’ve never felt safer and we’re saving $49.95 a month.
Then again, that is a hell of a lot to pay for a security system.