Pass the Hot Pockets

It’s bad enough that we produce carbon dioxide, say the Worriers of the World. But they can’t lecture us about that all the time, because sooner or later someone’s going to run them over with a Hummer H2. (Just in case you thought that pseudo-militaristic trucklike, um, thing had no practical applications whatsoever.) So in between times, they’re going to complain about how we eat:

Living by yourself can be great — it means you have the option of never wearing real pants at home, guilt-free Netflix binges on sunny days and the ability to eat your meals in front of the open refrigerator by picking through whatever it is you happen to have in there. On that last note, researchers say living solo has a downside: it means you eat like crap.

Without roommates or a partner around, people tend to have less healthy diets, according to an analysis of 41 studies published in the journal Nutrition Reviews by researchers at Queensland University of Technology.

It gets funnier:

What is it about living solo that takes such a toll on the diet? One of the researchers notes that people who live alone might lack the motivation to shop for groceries or cook. As anyone who’s ever cooked a recipe for themselves knows, it can be rough to eat leftovers of the same meal for a week straight, which is the only alternative to losing money on all those groceries you bought to cook.

I’ve been eating my own cooking four or five times a week for the last 33 years. Believe me, I know how to cut a recipe down to size. And maybe twice in that time I’ve had leftovers hang around for more than a single day.

Besides, what is this “losing money” garbage? Are we buying food for the purpose of investment? What are those two vintage-2002 York Peppermint Patties in the fridge worth on the open market?

I’d like to suggest something for the worriers to eat. In fact, I suggest a whole bag of ’em.


  1. Jean »

    7 November 2015 · 7:17 am

    I disagree with them. I ate much better when I lived alone. Living with other people means I cook more for them than myself.
    Humbug on their study.

  2. fillyjonk »

    7 November 2015 · 8:18 am

    Grocery shopping sucks when you live alone, though. Or at least it does at the groceries I have access to. I don’t need to buy a three-pound bag of spinach, I can’t eat it up before it goes bad. And wasting food is one of the old sins that has become new again.

    I’m wondering if this is going to lead to a call that all singletons be sent to live dorm-style, with a bunch of other people, or some similar inhumane suggestion.

  3. McGehee »

    7 November 2015 · 8:54 am

    Obamacare: Meals-on-Wheels Edition.

  4. CGHill »

    7 November 2015 · 11:06 am

    No suggestion is too inhumane for our alleged betters.

  5. ETat »

    7 November 2015 · 3:08 pm

    That reminds me: grocery shopping!
    I will go buy a nice piece of lamb neck, for Uzbek pilaf. A perfect pilaf could not be made for 1 portion/one dinner. No, I’ll cook a big cast iron casserole of it, with aromatic basmati, cumin, carrots, onions, safran and cardamom, enough to eat by myself for whole week!

  6. CGHill »

    7 November 2015 · 9:11 pm

    FJ, above:

    I’m wondering if this is going to lead to a call that all singletons be sent to live dorm-style.

    Here you go:

  7. fillyjonk »

    8 November 2015 · 6:40 am

    I’m twitching already. There will be That One Guy who thinks it’s dandy to play either death-metal or techno with the sound at 11 when it’s 2:30 am. And for some reason there will be no way to kick him out of the complex.

    I mean, it’s fine for people who WANT it, but those of us who hate noise/other people’s perfume/having to make small talk in a communal washroom – NO.

  8. McGehee »

    8 November 2015 · 8:25 am

    Small talk? Ha!

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