Strange search-engine queries (514)

It is a Monday tradition in these parts to go traipsing through the logs, hoping to find weird, embarrassing, or utterly inscrutable search strings. And invariably, we find them.

maria bartiromo black pantyhose:  Wore out the Pause switch on your DVR, did you?

shoes sticking to floor:  I’m guessing this is in the room where you watch Maria Bartiromo.

windows 10 is not ready:  Yeah, that’s what they said about Server 2003.

degrading flirting:  Was it graded first?

man name sirius and woman named Denise involvement in bank robbery in Orange county California:  Surely Denise didn’t take this guy Siriusly.

run up an alley and holler fish:  Don’t be surprised when Abe Vigoda answers.

during her speech on creating a healthier environment:  She coughed several times and spit twice on the floor.

valvoline rookwood:  I hear this will be the name for Kim and Kanye’s third kid.

one-horned bitch destroyer:  This must be one of those new “modern” Tarot decks.

waxed muff:  After which, inevitably, it waned.

quadruple beer:  Twelve point eight?

people with a lot of moles:  That lets out Ron Stoppable, who has only one.

write a fiction short story about election using polling place, independent, electoral college, elec:  And keep in mind that however outlandish your storyline, it will never be as weird as actual news programs.


  1. McGehee »

    7 December 2015 · 8:05 am

    I think that last one is an actual editorial instruction issued at the New York Daily News.

  2. backwoods conservative »

    7 December 2015 · 8:22 am

    I laughed out loud at the Abe Vigoda mention. Fish was one of TV’s most unforgettable characters.

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