News Item: The NBA fined SuperSonics co-owner Aubrey McClendon $250,000 two weeks after he said his group didn’t buy the team to keep it in Seattle. League spokesman Mark Broussard confirmed the penalty Thursday, but said he did not immediately know the reason the fine was imposed. The comments of McClendon, an Oklahoma City energy tycoon, were at odds with commissioner David Stern’s stated hope of keeping the Sonics in the city they’ve called home for all 40 years of their existence.
Top Ten ways Aubrey McClendon will raise the money to pay the NBA fine:
- Cancel two full-page ads in the Oklahoman complaining about OG&E’s new power plant
- Foreclose on Irma’s Burger Shack
- Borrow it from Mark Cuban
- Buy half of Seattle, sell it at a profit
- Bottle deposits at Pops
- Take it out of Kevin Durant’s rookie contract
- Buy the other half of Seattle, sell it at a profit
- “For everything else, there’s MasterCard”
- Postpone the acquisition of two more miles of Western Avenue
- Should be enough under the sofa cushions
Seattle may hang the guy in effigy if they can find enough hemp rope.