Strange search-engine queries (583)

The cruelest month slides into its third day, and we issue our first batch of selections from the local search strings. And they’re not too bad, we hope.

jack jack jack:  This will persuade most readers that you don’t know jack.

backup exec connection open and login was successful but then an error occurred while enabling mars:  Oh, yeah, like they’d try to enable Uranus.

frontier soups:  Try the Cream of Tumbleweed.

eye of beef:  Use it as an additional flavoring for Cream of Tumbleweed soup.

foreskin puns:  Would not include, for instance, “eye of beef.”

horrid henry horrid homework haze:  Horrid hatred hasn’t helped.

dust robert ashley:  When you had him stuffed and mounted, you promised that you’d keep him clean and dust-free.

mammalian protuberances:  Please do not stare at the women, Mr. Buckley.

her junior:  Because pursuing a freshman under those conditions might look bad.

it doesn’t taste like chicken:  Which is why you probably won’t see any more franchises for Kyrgyzstan Fried Chicken.

what is good bone structure:  What you won’t have if the only place you ever eat is Kyrgyzstan Fried Chicken.

“leave a” ~chintziness:  Obviously this does not reference leaving a tip.

police license plate scanner blocker:  You know, if you can afford one of these, you can afford to renew your damn plates.

zodfoot:  An unusually painful experience, generally prompted by failing to kneel before Zod.


  1. Holly H »

    3 April 2017 · 9:06 am

    OK I couldn’t believe there’d be a demand for foreskin puns. However, it only took 2 clicks to find a whole page devoted to circumcision humor. Warning– these are the weakest jokes ever.

  2. McG »

    3 April 2017 · 12:16 pm

    Q.: Which has the lowest rates?

    A.: Mohel 6.

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