Toothpaste from hell

So I snap the cap shut, replace the toothbrush on its stand, and I watch as blue goo oozes from the little tube I only just set down. Repeat later in the day, and probably also tomorrow and the next day. “I am never buying this crap again,” I swear, though I sometimes wonder if maybe it’s all my fault.

No, it’s not my fault:

Crest Pro-Health toothpaste is a known leaker. The cap does not close properly and the paste oozes out and I am not alone.

The spout where the toothpaste comes out has a slight lip. When the circle of plastic on the inside of the lid passes over this lip, you get the satisfying snap that tells you the lid is closed and will stay closed. It works great when the toothpaste tube is new. But when the pieces have to fit together so precisely, you don’t have much leeway.

Procter & Gamble says:

The current Crest Pro-Health product is uniquely formulated to deliver superior health benefits including cavity, plaque, gingivitis, and sensitivity protection. This unique formulation presents some package challenges which we have been focusing on solving.

So is this truly Satan’s Own Dentifrice? If the Prince of Darkness had a toothpaste, swears James Lileks, “it would not be Crest, but Anti-Crest.”


  1. fillyjonk »

    18 April 2017 · 8:07 pm

    I think it’s partly a fault in the cap design. The shampoo I use (an expensive hippie shampoo! It should not leak!) does it too. And the cap design is very similar.

    (For toothpaste, I like Aquafresh, partly because it came out when I was a kid and I was always intrigued by the stripes, partly because it’s one of the few I can get in a non-whitening formula locally: whitening toothpastes are hell if you have sensitive teeth)

  2. Michael Bates »

    22 April 2017 · 1:21 am

    The youngest son will be pleased to know it’s not his fault. (I had been wondering.)

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