Justify my ride

Francis W. Porretto waxes lyrical (it’s an artisanal version of Carnauba) on the subject of Joy, his newly-arrived C6 Corvette:

There’s nothing like the bellow of an American V8 engine with a performance-oriented exhaust system behind it. Just starting the engine is enough to increase any red-blooded man’s testosterone to the “Let’s hunt an endangered species to extinction and roast it over a bonfire of old-growth timber” level. And that, more than any other reason, is why I made this entirely unnecessary purchase.

Yes, it’s frivolous. Yes, it will anger tree huggers from coast to coast — and we do have a few here on the fabled Island of Long. And yes, what I spent on it would feed hundreds of illegal aliens for a whole year. I don’t care. It was my money and my decision.

If I regret anything about this purchase, it would be the requirement to pay the Vampire State’s Department of Motor Vehicles a king’s ransom in sales tax for the privilege of registering Joy for use on New York roads.

And sales tax apparently is just the beginning:

What fees and taxes do I need to pay to register and title a vehicle in New York State?

If this is the original registration (first time you register your vehicle), you must pay the

  • registration fee
  • vehicle plate fee
  • county use tax
  • sales tax (see sales tax information)
  • title certificate fee of $50.00
  • MCTD fee for the following 12 counties only: Bronx, Kings (Brooklyn), New York (Manhattan), Queens, Richmond (Staten Island), Dutchess, Nassau, Orange, Putnam, Rockland, Suffolk, and Westchester

But those are mere annoyances:

I tell you, people, that you not forget: it’s all right to be happy. And if that’s all right, then it’s all right for anyone, once the necessities are dealt with, to buy a red Corvette convertible, lower the top, and cruise blissfully and for no good reason down the main drag of his burg with the sun on his shoulders and the wind in his hair. A nineteen year old blonde right-seat decoration is not required.

I am far too easily distracted for such, um, decorations.


  1. McG »

    17 May 2017 · 9:12 am

    The disincentives — for me — in such an indulgence extend far beyond the price tag, insurance and upkeep. Such a driving machine, even if it lives up to its hype, is almost always going to need roads far better than the ones built for the public to zoom along at 45, 55, or even 75 mph.

    Years ago a Fairbanksan was featured in the Daily News-Miner telling why people don’t see him driving his Lamborghini more often. The gist was that the state couldn’t afford to keep Peger Road smooth from one week to the next even if it neglected every other road in Alaska, especially in the spring.

  2. Holly H »

    17 May 2017 · 9:25 am

    “Middle Age Crazy” comes to mind, for some reason.

  3. Francis W. Porretto »

    17 May 2017 · 11:34 am

    Hey! There’s no “middle age crazy” here. I’m old.

    At some point in one’s life, he must dig out the list of “things I really want to do,” tick off those he’s already accomplished, and get to work on what remains. I’ve wanted a Corvette convertible for more than forty years. My beloved wife thinks it’s the best 65th birthday present I could have given myself…and after three days in possession, I find that I agree.

  4. nightfly »

    17 May 2017 · 1:14 pm

    I don’t know how fast, exactly, one can cruise down the main drag of any burg on the Isle of Considerable Length. But at whatever speed, Godspeed, Mr. P.

  5. In The Mailbox: 05.17.17 : The Other McCain »

    17 May 2017 · 2:44 pm

    […] Dustbury: Justify My Ride […]

  6. ETat »

    17 May 2017 · 6:29 pm

    Holly H: I was going to say “textbook case of “over-the-hill crisis”. But then I checked myself: it would be only if the vehicle in question is RED.
    And we don’t know that…yet.

  7. CGHill »

    17 May 2017 · 6:56 pm

    It’s red. All Corvettes are red, even the blue and yellow ones.

  8. ETat »

    18 May 2017 · 12:32 am

    I’ll believe it when I see it. Where’s the evidence?
    *could Francis be that banal?*

  9. Francis W. Porretto »

    18 May 2017 · 4:47 am

    Believe it, ETat. It’s a Corvette, it’s a convertible, it’s red, and it’s turned my 64-year-old wife into a hot-to-trot giggling schoolgirl. It practically emptied my church into the parking lot when I pulled up there on Wednesday. I’ve never made a better purchase in my life. And here it is, for those who need pictures. If that’s “banal,” you can shove all the alternatives where the moon don’t shine. Film at 11!

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