You can’t take it with you

But this guy says he’s going to try:

I’ve decided I’m going to try and take it all with me. The cars are to be crushed and buried in plots next to me (at the executors’ expense), my bank accounts will hopefully be cleaned out by me prior to my demise and any other remaining trinkets (automobilia, LPs, tapes, Quad stuff, etc) is to be burned.

Why? Well, five generations of my family have died without wills leaving the survivors to their own devices. This has caused many family members’ true colors to emerge what with the theft, the lying, and general ridiculousness that comes when family members feel they are entitled.

Therefore, since I have no children, no spouse and will probably be outlived by a bunch of cousins whom I care nothing for (and the feelings are reciprocated), I’m going to leave them nothing but emptiness and debt.

Well, I might leave one of them a dollar in the hopes the little ******* might finally learn the value of a dollar.

I’ve got plenty of emptiness to show, but the only debt I owe is on the house, and while it’s a substantial sum, it’s far less than the value of the property.


  1. fillyjonk »

    16 July 2017 · 12:08 pm

    The ancient Egyptians did something similar to what this dude is planning. Shoot, supposedly in Raj-era India, some of the big important guys had their wives killed and burned with them,

  2. McG »

    16 July 2017 · 2:54 pm

    “If I cain’t tak’ it wif me, then I ain’t a-goin’!”

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