The Fark headline was exactly what was called for: “I like my coffee like I like my women, COVERED IN BEES.”
And now, a woman covered in bees:
Real talk: art direction of the standard maternity photo shoot has taken a cynical seat on a clichéd chair in our collective consciousness, right alongside the wedding photo shoot and prom photo shoot. But we celebrate expectant parents and beaming couples, trite or not, for capturing important milestones because we love our friends, are happy for them and it’s the right thing to do, dammit. Still, the relentless barrage of shoots coming at us in our social media feeds has made it too easy to picture precisely what poses will be captured for each milestone. If you say “maternity shoot”, I hear “husband or young kids kissing belly bump in staged adorable fashion”, not “the harried buzz of 20,000 bees as they swarm the abdomen of an expectant mother”. By gum, that changes today.
In stupendously unorthodox fashion, Emily Mueller of Akron, Ohio just broke the wheel on the baby bump reveal photo, by adding tens of thousands of bees. Surprisingly, she did keep one hallmark of the photography genre: the serene smile of the matriarch contemplating her role as life giver. Whatever your take on the apiary aesthetic, Mueller gets points for smiling calmly while buried beneath thousands of potentially sting-crazy insects. Should you be looking to differentiate yourself from the reproductive rabble and ace a boss photo, do take notes. Also, I openly hope that something will happen to make that baby be born with bee powers.
What might “bee powers” be, anyway?