The most direct approach

So I’m minding my own business at the start of the weekend when the little slider whizzes by with a notification. Oh, look, it’s a Twitter follower, and it’s a pretty blonde:

Twitter bio for Clara Helms

The pretty blondes I usually get are bots with numbers and nothing to recommend themselves. Ms Helms seemed to have something of a history, and so I sought out that New Single:

Yep, it’s that Eric Carmen song with the melody lifted from Rachmaninoff; I didn’t expect her to sing the verses in Italian, though. I found her My Love album, and finally figured out where she belongs on the spectrum: think Susan Boyle divided by Celine Dion. This becomes most obvious in Clara’s cover of Meghan Trainor’s “Like I’m Gonna Lose You”:

The following exchange ensued:

Meanwhile, I scrolled down her timeline and snagged a few photographs:

Clara Helms gets cuddly

Clara Helms floors it

Clara Helms is ready to go

There at one time existed a video of Clara Helms presenting a house in Perth (Western Australia), utilizing the purest of real-estate conventions, and I got the distinct impression that she did this sort of thing only long enough to get her music career started. (Alternate explanation: she lived in this house, and sold it to finance her trip to the States.)

Had I the wherewithal — but no, I was never intended to live this high on the wombat.

And I still wonder how it is that music acts find their way to my Twitter account. I mean, yeah, I’m the sort of person who’ll give them a chance, but who knows that? How is anyone finding this out?

9 comments

  1. McGehee »

    20 February 2018 · 7:21 am

    Maybe the same way spammers and telemarketers learn to not bother with me: the NSA.

  2. Dan T. »

    20 February 2018 · 7:23 am

    Any new followers I get seem to be “Internet Marketing Specialists” or realtors or something else with a business to promote, and many thousands of people they follow, presumably in hopes they follow back rather than to actually read their feeds. I don’t get any pretty blonde singers.

  3. McGehee »

    20 February 2018 · 12:10 pm

    I got a movie star once. Long retired, but still. I was sad when she passed away only weeks later.

  4. McGehee »

    20 February 2018 · 12:11 pm

    A rate highlight of my having been on Twitter.

  5. McGehee »

    20 February 2018 · 12:11 pm

    The follow, not the…

  6. Roger O Green »

    20 February 2018 · 3:04 pm

    To follow the ZZ Top theme of your blog, she’s got LEGS

  7. CGHill »

    20 February 2018 · 5:57 pm

    I know exactly one social media expert: she’s written one of the major books on LinkedIn. In other news, there are major books on LinkedIn. And, yes, she’s got legs.

  8. Lynn »

    21 February 2018 · 8:41 am

    I get a lot of authors following me, which is very cool. I know they’re just trying to get my attention so maybe I’ll read their books and a couple of times (so far) it worked.

  9. Late Night With Rule 5 SundaySailor Moon Goes To The Olympics : The Other McCain »

    26 February 2018 · 2:14 pm

    […] is Gloria Grahame, and Sex in Advertising is covered by Scarlett Johannson. At Dustbury, it’s Clara Helms and Beth Broderick. […]

RSS feed for comments on this post