Qualifications not met

After an extended Internet debate over what is, and what is not, a sandwich, we’re ready for the next activity, in which I contend that these are not jeans:

Lace-up so-called jeans

Out back, there’s a zipper, and some actual fabric along the legs — otherwise these would be fishnets, amirite? — and all sizes, XS to 3X, are marked as “sold out.”

To these non-jeans’ credit, the price is only $50; denim buyers have paid more for less over the years.


  1. fillyjonk »

    14 May 2018 · 10:24 am


  2. McGehee »

    14 May 2018 · 11:14 am

    She looks every bit as thrilled to be wearing them as I would be.

  3. Roger O Green »

    14 May 2018 · 11:22 am

    not jeans!

  4. fillyjonk »

    14 May 2018 · 12:54 pm

    To follow up my “yipes:”

    In my mind, those are not attractive enough to be worth the level of discomfort wearing them seems like it would engender. (both physical and psychic. Very few non-model women feel sufficiently confident of their legs to want to expose that much of them)

  5. Brett »

    14 May 2018 · 7:35 pm

    These don’t look good on a woman they were probably designed to look good on; I cannot imagine more substantial ladies actually buying them and so I call BS on the idea that they sold a single one of them in “3X.”

  6. McGehee »

    14 May 2018 · 8:37 pm

    Maybe 3X is supposed to be said a different way, and those… notjeans lack at least one strategic portion of denim.

  7. fillyjonk »

    14 May 2018 · 8:48 pm

    I’m assuming – given how some high fashion things are sized – 3X actually means “34” hips and a proportionally smaller waist.”

    But yeah. I would never ever ever wear something like that (You fellows can thank me.)

  8. Holly H »

    15 May 2018 · 8:41 am

    I’m with you, fj. My inner grandma immediately leaped to the practical problem of not being able to wear undies with those “jeans”. High fashion can be so silly.

  9. Jay »

    15 May 2018 · 10:59 am

    …and my outer Dad immediately said “NO!”

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