Unlike the bug eaters and the soyboys, I’m an apex predator. I’m a productive member of a culture which overcame geographic challenges and grew to dominate the world. Unlike members of certain other cultures or races or subspecies, which cannot feed themselves without bugs and foreign aid and nevertheless are breeding at a rate which not even bugs will sustain, my culture is productive enough and rich enough and prudent enough that we can eat any damned thing we want. And we do.
Which brought this story from the sidelines:
When I was in high school, I threw a party: all the hors d’oeuvres were weird things. That’s one thing you can count on in California, you can find whatever weird foodstuffs you want!
So I had chocolate-covered ants, fried crickets, some kind of french-fried worms that closely resembled Cheetos, all kinds of mouth-watering delicacies. Somehow I forgot to mention what was actually in or on the plates & bowls, but everyone happily munched them down! Until I brought out the containers they’d been in when I bought them…
You could say that a hush fell over the crowd, but only momentarily. Then it got very noisy indeed! That stage direction in Shakespeare’s A Winter’s Tale seemed to apply: “Exeunt, pursued by a bear.”
And don’t argue with bears, either:
Last week, a very clever bear broke into a New Jersey woman’s car and devoured two dozen cupcakes. The woman, who owns a vegan, gluten-free bakery, told a reporter at local newspaper The Record that she left the cupcakes in her SUV overnight so they could be delivered first thing the next day. Early that morning she awoke to hear the family dog barking at a late-night interloper mulling around in the backyard. She would later discover her car had endured a broken window and multiple frosting smudges, along with the disappearance of her valuable cupcake provisions.
You don’t see bears breaking into pest-control trucks, now do you?