Going to considerable lengths

Casting directors, complains Jonah Falcon, spurn him for meat-related reasons:

“It’s handicapped my acting because people won’t hire me. They Google ‘Jonah Falcon’ and then say, ‘We can’t use him he’s known for his penis size.’

“It’s definitely harmed my career — I have two casting director friends who have told me so.”

I might have felt sorrier for Jonah except:

  • The organ in question is reliably reported to max out at 13.5 inches;
  • He said “It relegates me into doing smaller parts.”

“There are no small parts — only small actors,” said Stanislavski, though admittedly he died in 1938, long before Falcon’s birth.

(Via Fark.)


  1. fillyjonk »

    14 June 2018 · 9:12 am

    If it’s genuine – and he’s not using a ruler that starts at, say, the eight-inch mark – there’s a museum in Iceland that might be interested in it when he’s done with it.

    (Confession: I got out one of my measuring tapes and looked at that length. And recoiled somewhat in horror. He could hurt a lady with that thing.)

  2. McGehee »

    14 June 2018 · 9:40 am

    ‘We can’t use him he’s known for his penis size.’

    Well… he wasn’t, by me, until now. But then, I haven’t been considered part of Hollywood’s target market yet this century.

  3. holly »

    14 June 2018 · 11:23 am

    This has to be the best spin-doctor EVER. I can imagine how the idea came about:

    “……1. I’m a failed actor; 2. I have this amazing physical “gift”. How can these be used together to my best advantage?”

  4. Brett »

    14 June 2018 · 10:36 pm

    After reading the story I have no qualms whatsoever about mocking him for thinking he had acting to be handicapped.

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