When I’m sixty-five

I have received something like three dozen Medicare-related mailings in the last month or so, and nowhere did I read anything quite so sensible as this:

If you are an older senior citizen and can no longer take care of yourself and need Long-Term Care, but the government says there is no nursing home care available for you, what do you do?

You may opt for Medicare Part G.

The plan gives anyone 70 or older, a gun (Part G) and one bullet.

You may then shoot one worthless politician.

This means you will be sent to prison for the rest of your life where you will receive three meals a day, a roof over your head, central heating and air conditioning, cable TV, a library, and all the healthcare you need.

Then again, I’m still a few years away from seventy.


  1. fillyjonk »

    21 June 2018 · 6:13 pm

    Don’t fall for it. They’ll then make shooting a politician an automatic capital crime, thereby saving themselves money, and as Dickens once said (through the mouth of a then-worthless businessman) decreasing the surplus population.

  2. CGHill »

    21 June 2018 · 7:08 pm

    Won’t matter much unless they speed up executions, and there’s not much chance of that.

  3. McGehee »

    21 June 2018 · 7:55 pm

    Welllllll, it depends whose ox is being gored. Politicians have a say in who gets to be judge, after all.

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