Questions possibly answered

    1.  About ten-thirty last night.

    2.  Knives. At least there was a chance that they’d been maintained well.

    3.  I rang the hotline at 11:15.

    4.  It took the guy well over an hour to talk me out of it.

    5.  The urge has not gone away.

20 comments

  1. Lisa Paul »

    17 September 2018 · 7:36 pm

    Jeez, please find a local resource that can help you through this.

    You are an amazing and special person. Many of us remember indelible people we’ve met. How many of us know someone with such wit, droll humor, insight and humanity that just reading their written word makes them indelible. You are that person. Although I’m states away, let me know if I can do anything.

  2. fillyjonk »

    17 September 2018 · 7:52 pm

    Still praying for you.

    I was concerned all day when I didn’t see anything much posted or anything at all on Twitter.

    A lot of us really care about you, for whatever that’s worth.

    I hope you can get help, and that the medical stuff that’s been plaguing you gets better. Still praying. Every day.

  3. Dan T. »

    17 September 2018 · 7:59 pm

    I’ve known you online through several different forums going back around 30 years, and hope to be able to see your writing for a long time to come.

  4. David W »

    17 September 2018 · 8:07 pm

    I would miss you.

  5. Jennifer »

    17 September 2018 · 8:14 pm

    I’m so sorry you are feeling this way. But I’m so glad you reached out to someone. Keep doing that, as often as you need, as long as it takes. You mean an awful lot to so many. <3

  6. Dawn Eden Goldstein »

    17 September 2018 · 8:29 pm

    Just tried to call you, Charles. Please call me. I love you and am praying for you.

  7. Roger Green »

    17 September 2018 · 8:34 pm

    I look forward to your wisdom every day

  8. Dan »

    17 September 2018 · 8:37 pm

    Please call me back.

  9. Francis »

    17 September 2018 · 9:35 pm

    Charles, we’ve never met, but I would be more than happy to talk with you any time. Phone call, text, email, twitter message, you name it. I have had friends in the boat you’re in – it’s not easy. People care though. We are here for you brother.

  10. McGehee »

    17 September 2018 · 10:08 pm

    I’d love to think I’d know how to talk someone out of doing a fool thing like that, but I’m not that vain.

    I do know that if Dante was right, his description of the consequence makes “persistent vegetative state” — or I guess now they’re calling it “unresponsive wakefulness syndrome,” given that apparently a lot of people aren’t actually unconscious after all — look like a picnic.

  11. Jean »

    17 September 2018 · 11:34 pm

    Your backup squad is quite large.
    Lean on us.

  12. ms7168 »

    18 September 2018 · 5:37 am

    I would miss you too . . greatly!

  13. hollyh »

    18 September 2018 · 8:30 am

    We are all feeling helpless out here, racking our brains for what to say or do. You have a lot of folks who are pulling for you, man.

    I’m hoping you will at least wait until you see the specialist, to see if there’s anything at all that can be done about your physical pain.

  14. Jennifer »

    18 September 2018 · 9:44 am

    Dammit Charles.
    I want you around, okay? Clearly, I’m not alone. Yep, life sucks sometimes. A lot of the time. It’s also beautiful. The connections with other souls are absolutely priceless. You are loved.

  15. Tom »

    18 September 2018 · 10:22 am

    If you need that’s attainable, let me know and I’ll be there. Your writings have brought so much to me.

  16. John Salmon »

    18 September 2018 · 11:12 am

    I’ve been where you are. I’ve dealt with depression for decades. Hopelessness is insidious, powerful-and a lie. You must remember this. And I, as one of many as you can see from the comments here, would miss you tremendously. You’re like my much smarter Internet older brother, the guy who always makes sense, and always does so in a witty, urbane way. Take care of yourself, bro.

  17. Jay »

    18 September 2018 · 11:37 am

    As so many others, praying you find relief from the demons that torment you so. Reach out to us out here, to those around you, to any and all. Just don’t let the demons win.

  18. McGehee »

    18 September 2018 · 1:01 pm

    Charles, I have often owned up to the fact that I’m not a sociable man, but it isn’t — I’ve come to realize — because I dislike people, but because I dislike boredom. The odds of encountering a person at random in some ordinary social gathering (or social network) who will not bore me are infinitesimal.

    I find and stay with those who don’t, but over the years I have lost so many of them. Some simply lost interest in the internet, others — Acidman, Jeffro — have died. I try to add to the dwindling circle but it never stops shrinking.

    If I knew how prevent the day from ever coming when there’ll be no one left, I’d bottle it and share it freely with the ones I’d miss the most. (I’d make up the loss by gouging the boring people for it.)

    Don’t hurry the day. It’s coming too fast already.

  19. nightfly »

    19 September 2018 · 1:02 pm

    I will echo all here who have already said better what is on my heart.

    We all must go sometime, my friend, but not like that. Whatever is ailing you, physical or otherwise, does not have the final say – love does.

  20. Lin »

    21 September 2018 · 5:12 pm

    You are valued and appreciated and the world would be a lesser place without you. I wish you help and peace with your problems.

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