Thoroughly hosed

Or maybe unhosed. Fillyjonk goes prospecting for pantyhose at Walmart, and this is what she found:

1. Knee highs, which are useless to me (and uncomfortable). If I am wearing slacks, I am going to wear wool socks and chunky shoes, or one of my pairs of Blue Q socks (either the ones that scream “STOP TALKING” on the cuff, or the ones that say “Leave me alone, I’m introverting”).

2. Very, very large sizes (3X or 4X). I take a Q, which is sometimes a 1X in other brands, sometimes is smaller than that. And they were all control top. Control top hose should be banned under the Geneva convention. Once or twice when I could get NOTHING else and wore them, I walked around all day going “Oh man, am I getting a stomach bug?” or even “Holy crap I think I’m getting appendicitis” and it turned out when I when home and took the dang things off, I was FINE.

3. “Silken Mist” L’Eggs in control top. First of all, control top always gets a hard nope from me these days. But the “silken mist” really means “Look at these and they will run”

4. Heavyweight black tights. Thanks, but I already have three pair and most of my clothes are in the family of colors that goes better with brown. (My kingdom for a couple pairs of good brown tights…)

You might want to consider that Blue Q link something less than safe for work.


  1. The Other McCain »

    30 November 2018 · 10:18 am

    Late Night With In The Mailbox: 11.29.18

    […] Dustbury: Thoroughly Hosed […]

  2. hollyh »

    30 November 2018 · 11:53 am

    “I think I’m getting appendicitis” describes it to a T. That’s why I do NOT wear those darned things any more, ever.

RSS feed for comments on this post