And never say “Bite me” in his presence

The lovely and talented @SwiftOnSecurity, before rethinking the matter, said: “We never have good news stories like this anymore.”

This was a news story fifteen years ago, though needless to say, none of his neighbors could believe it:

To the family next door, Armin Meiwes seemed the perfect neighbour. He mowed their lawn, repaired their car and even invited them round for dinner.

Other residents in the small German town of Rotenburg also believed there was nothing odd about the 42-year-old computer expert, whose light burned late into the night inside his creaking mansion. Yesterday, however, Meiwes appeared in court charged with killing — and then frying and eating — another man.

In one of the most extraordinary trials in German criminal history, the self-confessed cannibal admitted that he had met a 43-year-old Berlin engineer, Bernd Brandes, after advertising on the internet, and had chopped him up and eaten him.

It was, he said, something he had wanted to do for a long time. “I always had the fantasy and in the end I fulfilled it,” Meiwes told the court on the first day of his trial for murder in the nearby city of Kassel.

Geez. All this story needs is for Rammstein to write a song about it.

Oh, wait…


  1. fillyjonk »

    1 December 2018 · 1:35 pm

    *reads 1st para* “Okay, okay, this is gonna be the standard, ‘he died weeks ago and no one cared to check on him’ sad story”

    *reads 1st half 2nd para* “Yeah, gonna be one of those ‘no one found him until the smell'”

    *reads 2nd half 2nd para* “Oh hells no.”

    I don’t know my current neighbors. Maybe I don’t want to.

  2. CGHill »

    1 December 2018 · 1:52 pm

    At least it was the Guardian. Had it been an American paper, they’d have castigated the cannibal for frying his victim when there are so many healthier ways to prepare the, um, meal.

  3. McGehee »

    1 December 2018 · 8:00 pm

    There used to be a joke that cannibals never eat lawyers, because cleaning them is impossible.

    I suppose engineers probably tend to be better in that regard…

  4. Joseph Hertzlinger »

    2 December 2018 · 12:31 am

    I’m reminded of the “Dish of the Day” in the Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy series.

    For that matter, I’m reminded of male redback spiders, whose mating position is within reach of the female’s jaws.

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