Strange search-engine queries (670)

Yahoo! Answers is replete with people who want to cover their tracks. One or two of them might even have wound up here, looking for God knows what. (And God knows, even if your mom doesn’t. Yet.)

nazi schmatzi:  Don’t be stupid, be a smarty.

hitler’s valet what he saw of hitler’s enemas & farts:  Don’t be gaseous, don’t be farty.

white balance tools:  All in all, it’s just a section of wall.

sarcastic wit vs clown wit:  The clowns wear bigger shoes.

there doesn’t seem to be anyone around 70:  Obviously you’ve never been to my workplace.

there’s a spammer on your aim:  Better than a zombie on your lawn.

fake amazon email referencing cancelled order:  If you know it’s fake, why even read it?

why vanquis denied transaction online:  I have no idea. Have you been credited for that fake Amazon cancellation?

smuggling in malaysia penal code:  Depends on what’s being smuggled. Used to be, they’d execute you for drug trafficking.

females getting groped:  Not by you, we hope.

what is it called when you peel off the white stuff off a orange:  Time to wash your hands.

“pictures to help you masturbate”:  Well, there’s always Rule 5. And be sure to wash your hands.

9 comments »

  1. fillyjonk »

    3 December 2018 · 7:20 am

    I hate flatulent Nazis.

  2. Dan T. »

    3 December 2018 · 7:46 am

    If you smuggle in a copy of the Malaysia penal code, you ought to get executed for it.

    The white balance tools might help you balance the white stuff on the orange (not the sort of white stuff Weird Al sang about [ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YbseBW-AWn4 ] nor the sort that gets you executed in Malaysia for smuggling it). There’s got to be a Rule 5 picture of this.

  3. hollyh »

    3 December 2018 · 8:04 am

    You’ve got to admire the lexicographic laser-sharp goal of finding a specific word for removing orange pith. This person should be a PhD in arcane English at some university.

  4. fillyjonk »

    3 December 2018 · 10:33 am

    I suspect there’s an actual culinary term for the process of de-pithing an orange. I may have even heard it some time but I don’t remember it; I just remember “if you’re going to use orange peel in stuff, get the white part off because it’s bitter”

  5. McGehee »

    3 December 2018 · 10:55 am

    He probably just wanth to get into a pithing match.

  6. hollyh »

    4 December 2018 · 8:07 am

    Ha Ha!

  7. The Other McCain »

    4 December 2018 · 2:53 pm

    Late Night With In The Mailbox: 12.03.18

    {…] Dustbury: Strange Search Engine Queries, also, Claims Must Be Filed In Person […]

  8. CGHill »

    4 December 2018 · 6:17 pm

    Something Wiki this way comes:

    For culinary use, a zester, grater, vegetable peeler, paring knife, or even a surform tool is used to scrape or cut zest from the fruit. Alternatively, the peel is sliced, then excess pith (if any) cut away.

    I definitely know what it’s like to have excess pith.

  9. hollyh »

    6 December 2018 · 10:28 am

    I did find a useful life-hack, due to this pith research. Apparently, if you microwave your orange for about 20 seconds, it makes it easier to peel. Will let you know if it works.

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