No, Mr Bond, I expect you to be dry

A bunch of Kiwi teetotalers just couldn’t resist:

James Bond is a “severe” alcoholic and should be offered medical help by his employer, MI6, academics have said.

The double agent drinks a total of 109 drinks over 24 films — an average of 4.5 per film, an analysis by researchers at the University of Otago in New Zealand found.

His record binge in Quantum of Solace (2008) saw 007, played by Daniel Craig, consume 24 units of alcohol in one sitting —”enough to kill some people.”

“Double agent”? Has anyone at the Daily Mail actually seen any of the Bond films?

Not that the researchers need to be taken more seriously:

‘We classified him as having severe alcohol use disorder, as he satisfied six of 11 DSM-5 criteria for this condition.’

The DSM-5 is The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fifth Edition, which is used by mental health professionals to assess disorders.

I figure, they next need to check out Popeye the Sailor, who has his surly moments and probably lymphedema of the forearms.

(Via Kim du Toit.)

4 comments

  1. McGehee »

    14 December 2018 · 8:51 am

    Bond is a Double-0 agent. One of those rare cases where deleting Nothing changes everything.

  2. nightfly »

    14 December 2018 · 2:10 pm

    Maybe in Quantum of Solace, he goes on a bit of a bender… but many of those other films cover events over a longer period of time than one day. If Bond downs five martinis (shaken not stirred) in five different bars on three different continents over the course of a fortnight, suddenly he’s sloshed on the job?

    Now the folks at the 4077th MASH, *they* were drunkards and knew it. I don’t think they ever used the term “occupational alcoholism” but that’s pretty much how they thought of it. Wonder what kind of drying out they needed in the end.

  3. McGehee »

    14 December 2018 · 2:27 pm

    Trapper John apparently did okay, though his older incarnation was probably more in need of a twelve-step program for radical progressivism; whereas if he hadn’t undergone whatever caused his personality to change he probably would have quit medicine and gotten rich.

  4. McGehee »

    14 December 2018 · 2:29 pm

    Hmm. I wonder if his romance with Lynn Redgrave went bad and caused him to go off the deep end?

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