Though he’s not so bright

We have here a clod who is desperate to make an impression but who’s dumber than a bag of hair: What type or brand of headlight can i but for my car that has one million candle power?

We’re going to assume he meant “buy” rather than “but,” though the latter comes closer to describing the location of his head. Evidently he covets one of those high-zoot spotlights they sell at the unsporting-goods store. He ignores the fact that, well, they’re spotlights; they aren’t worth a damn for automotive use because the beam is so narrow. I expect he also wants 130 dB of exhaust noise, in which case he should be locked away and the key dropped into the ocean.


  1. fillyjonk »

    17 January 2019 · 8:45 pm

    Yeah, because blinding all the other motorists on the road is great for your safety. (One of my pet loathes are those aftermarket headlights that are surface-of-the-sun bright.)

  2. McGehee »

    17 January 2019 · 9:24 pm

    I half suspect he believes they not only exist, but that several of the oncoming cars he encounters while driving at night actually have them.

    He might do better to swap out his, what, 11-inch wheels for some 22s.

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