Strange search-engine queries (677)

If you’re new to this — and how could you have missed it after twelve years and odd? — what we do here is examine the search strings that bring people to this site, and publish the sillier ones. It’s as much fun as you think, maybe even less.

mary’s parents bought her a used bicycle for her birthday. she was thrilled until she learned that her best friend received a brand new bicycle to celebrate ground hog day. mary’s declining satisfaction illustrates:  The perils of an envy-based economy.

upskirts vaccine:  They have shots for that now?

bimbo milf porn:  Maintenance drug for toxic masculinity.

hebephilia copypasta:  One eventually tires of bimbo milf porn.

a savings account compounds interest, at a rate of 25%, once a year. eve puts $500 in the account as the principal. how can eve set up a function to track the amount of money she has?  Never mind that. Where the hell can I get an account that pays 25 percent a year with a minimum deposit of $500?

glados fast gibberish slowed down:  Yeah, like slow gibberish is better.

morgan fairchild tits:  Last I heard, there were two.

if the purpose of this paragraph is to persuade readers to eat tortillas:  Hard to make a proper taco without them.

u ever think about how the year 3000 is literally 81 years away:  I think it’s horribly unfair that we skip over the year 2525 entirely.

transition klunker craigslist:  And you wanted to go car shopping there?

is yellowstone gonna blow:  Let’s hope it’s otherwise a slow news day.

doody calls:  At least they don’t call collect.

6 comments

  1. Dan T. »

    21 January 2019 · 7:33 am

    In the Call of Doody video game, you have to make it to the toilet in time.

  2. McGehee »

    21 January 2019 · 9:22 am

    Eve could set up a simple spreadsheet, or she could wait for the bank statement.

  3. hollyh »

    21 January 2019 · 11:48 am

    Let’s face it; you probably don’t hear much about Morgan Fairchild’s body parts nowadays. We all become invisible, eventually.

  4. fillyjonk »

    21 January 2019 · 12:53 pm

    I can think of a few places on the guys who like to take upskirt video where I’d like to stick a very large hypodermic needle…

  5. CGHill »

    21 January 2019 · 5:41 pm

    If this shot I fished out of the archives is at all accurate, Morgan Fairchild has been invisible since 1999,

  6. The Other McCain »

    22 January 2019 · 10:55 pm

    In The Mailbox: 01.22.19

    […] Dustbury: Strange Search Engine Queries, also, Needing More Than Mrs. Peel […]

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