Big dreams, little chance

Insomnia, it appears, can cause madness: Is there any way that I can hire someone to force the San Antonio International Airport to permanently shut down?

Symptoms:

I need to stop having my ears, heart, and mind blown out by the extremely loud, low-flying planes that practically hit my roof every minute (including in the middle of the night when I’m trying to sleep)!

Then why did you move there, you nitwit? The runway has been there for only seventy-six years.

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