I’d been hoping for a nemo paradise take on this particular contretemps:
I read this morning that the government has set bail for an actress named Lori Loughlin at a cool one million bucks. She paid a guy to bribe somebody at a huge California diploma mill called USC into accepting her daughters for admission, and she has been charged, not with statutory stupidity, but with mail fraud.
Yet it seems pretty clear to me that tragedy is averted by the sheer quality of comedy that obtains:
First of all, there’s the USC angle. In A Man For All Seasons, Thomas More asks his corrupted protege Richard Rich, whose false testimony has been bought by making him Chancellor of the Welsh:
“Richard, it profits not a man, should he lose his soul, to gain the whole world! But — for Wales?”
Bribing people to get your kid into Harvard, Stanford — even Brown — is understandable. But USC? Tailback U?
And the best comedy, of course, is the comedy that’s the most universal:
What Loughlin did is dishonest, but hardly worth the level of outrage it has ginned up among both red and blue TV virtue-signalers. Frankly, anybody who ever handed a headwaiter a tip to get a table is guilty of social misconduct, and being a friend of the doorman at last night’s hottest club shouldn’t get you inside ahead of all those eager folks waiting patiently in line, now, should it?
It’s not the bribe; it’s the acknowledgement of a bribe. There are places on this earth where nothing gets done unless palms are greased.