Oh, goodness, Aunt Becky

I’d been hoping for a nemo paradise take on this particular contretemps:

I read this morning that the government has set bail for an actress named Lori Loughlin at a cool one million bucks. She paid a guy to bribe somebody at a huge California diploma mill called USC into accepting her daughters for admission, and she has been charged, not with statutory stupidity, but with mail fraud.

Yet it seems pretty clear to me that tragedy is averted by the sheer quality of comedy that obtains:

First of all, there’s the USC angle. In A Man For All Seasons, Thomas More asks his corrupted protege Richard Rich, whose false testimony has been bought by making him Chancellor of the Welsh:

“Richard, it profits not a man, should he lose his soul, to gain the whole world! But — for Wales?”

Bribing people to get your kid into Harvard, Stanford — even Brown — is understandable. But USC? Tailback U?

And the best comedy, of course, is the comedy that’s the most universal:

What Loughlin did is dishonest, but hardly worth the level of outrage it has ginned up among both red and blue TV virtue-signalers. Frankly, anybody who ever handed a headwaiter a tip to get a table is guilty of social misconduct, and being a friend of the doorman at last night’s hottest club shouldn’t get you inside ahead of all those eager folks waiting patiently in line, now, should it?

It’s not the bribe; it’s the acknowledgement of a bribe. There are places on this earth where nothing gets done unless palms are greased.


  1. McGehee »

    17 March 2019 · 7:40 pm

    I’m only aware of this story because everybody else in the world is so outraged about it. If I gave it much thought I suppose I’d conclude it’s the sort of thing that shouldn’t happen, but there isn’t much going on in “higher” “education” these days that should.

    I’d wonder about the motives of the prosecutors. Los Angeles County doesn’t have an impressive recent track record in that regard, and I wonder how anyone of sound moral character can stand to work in that office (I know of at least one who does, you almost certainly know the same person).

    It’s one of those cases where iwish both sides could lose, but they’re both in California so they already have.

  2. Roger Green »

    18 March 2019 · 8:37 am

    Y’all should watch John Oliver re public shaming. It mentions Aunt Becky, but is largely about Monica Lewinsky. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yq7Eh6JTKIg

  3. Roger Green »

    18 March 2019 · 8:40 am

    On the other hand: https://pagesix.com/2019/03/17/lori-loughlin-once-bragged-about-money-spent-on-daughter-olivia-jades-education/

  4. CGHill »

    19 March 2019 · 1:03 am

    I’ve long felt that Monica got the short end of the stick, so to speak.

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