Ask your doctor if it’s right for you

Pretty much all the prescription-drug commercials on TV follow this same uninteresting pattern:

Sufferers of Sweaty Elbow Syndrome can relax. Clinical trials have shown that Placebon causes up to a 7.5% drop in elbow sweat production in almost half of users. If you or someone you love are living with SES, ask your health care provider about Placebon.

In rare cases, patients reported depression and suicidal thoughts. Stop taking Placebon and see your health care provider if these occur. Side effects are rare, and include herniated discs, coronary artery blockages, and sudden incontinence. Patients who use alcohol or have visited regions with ebola outbreaks should not take Placebon. Do not take Placebon if you are allergic to Placebon.

Emphasis in the original. One question, of course, remains unanswered:

How in the Ninety-Nine Names of Spongebob am I supposed to know if I’m allergic to a drug I’ve never taken?

This is so they can say “We warned you” when the stuff makes you deathly ill. CYA all the way.


  1. fillyjonk »

    7 May 2019 · 10:46 am

    I always figured it was a “if you took it once and you were allergic, shame on us. If you took it a second time and were allergic, shame on you” sort of thing.

    I will say I got an impressively rapid reaction out of my doctor when I called her up (after being given Bactrim for possible cellulitis) and said “My hives are worse and I am so anxious I cannot sit still for more than 2 minutes.” I now have a note in my file…

  2. McGehee »

    7 May 2019 · 12:41 pm

    At least its side effects don’t include spontaneous chromosome re-lettering or sudden, explosive death.

  3. CGHill »

    7 May 2019 · 6:29 pm

    The only drug to which I have allergic reactions is amoxicillin, and truth be told, if that’s the only antibiotic I can get, I’ll take it.

  4. Roger Green »

    8 May 2019 · 10:34 am

    Allergies are strange beasts. I was considered allergic to penicillin when I was 16. But maybe not; the reaction may have been “something else”?

  5. CGHill »

    8 May 2019 · 5:28 pm

    And I may have many others that I’ve never encountered — but how would I know?

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