Chairman Bill has plans for you

News Item: Microsoft has asked the designers of a low-cost Linux laptop intended for children in developing nations to redesign the system so it can accommodate its Windows XP operating system.

Also on Microsoft’s agenda for the coming year:

  • Release of a suspiciously Apple-esque application called “mZune”
  • Require buyers of new PCs who request XP instead of Vista to pay for licenses for both
  • Redesign of Windows Update to erase Firefox when detected
  • MSN butterfly replaced by velociraptor
  • New video service called “WeTube”
  • Diversification into the lucrative field of baby gear

Meanwhile, Chrysler chairman Bob Nardelli has asked the Environmental Protection Agency to require Toyota to retrofit the popular Prius with the rear axle and leaf springs of a Dodge Ram truck, on the basis that the battery pack is heavy and could fall through the lightweight sedan’s body structure, causing a toxic spill. When it was pointed out that the extra 300 lb of weight would seriously impair fuel-economy figures on the Prius, Nardelli simply smiled.


  1. Jeff Brokaw »

    7 December 2007 · 4:50 pm

    Clean running water? Bah. Who needs it?

    We’ve got XP, baby!

  2. Emalyse »

    8 December 2007 · 4:48 am

    *Rolls eyes* OLPC will probably get steam rollered if they don’t comply but would equally be foolish to do so. I’m sure Msoft and Intel are only too ready to undercut and undermine with their own laptop offering (I thought they already had done so).

  3. McGehee »

    8 December 2007 · 9:19 am

    I can hardly wait to see Bill Gates and Rupert Murdoch square off. It’ll be better than “Alien vs. Predator” — actually, more like “Sauron vs. Darth Sidious.”

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