Swipe this, pal

Have you seen a profile like this before? Of course you have:

If you don't match then it's a deal breaker

And there’s going to be some question in your mind as to whether she stands half a chance of finding someone:

Richard Cooper called attention to this woman’s online dating profile: A 22-year-old unmarried mother who demands that any guy who contacts her must be 6-foot-3 with “stable housing and income — open to the idea of marriage — intelligent,” etc. Beggars can’t be choosers, ma’am.

The average height of U.S. males is 5-foot-9. At 5-foot-11, a man is in the top 25%, at 6 feet, he’s in the top 10%. The man who is 6-foot-3 is taller than 99% of men in the United States.

Thus, the woman begins by eliminating 99% of all males from her search, and then adds numerous other qualifiers, as if such men are so numerous that they’ll be lining up for the opportunity to date this not-very-attractive woman who, by the way, has another man’s child in tow.

I’m a U.S. male, ’cause I was born right beside a Great Lake on an autumn morn, and before shrinkage started setting in, I was a legitimate six-footer, with maybe a few millimeters to spare. For the record, only once has a woman told me she was looking for someone at least 6-foot-3, and she was a legitimate six-footer, with maybe a few millimeters to spare. (Let the record show that she found the guy, that they were subsequently wed, and that they now have two kids.)

As for those choosy beggars, well, Amy Winehouse has their number:

Boy, do we need her now.

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