I haven’t the vagus idea

I suspect this will be greeted by a chorus of Nopes:

Looking for a powerful thrill? Want to get over your fear of snakes? Although not exactly recommended, you can get a snake massage to try to accomplish both those goals.

When you enter the New York shop Dreaming Goddess, a woman named Serpentessa can help you with this unusual $300 service. The massage lasts a minimum of 1 hour, 15 minutes and involves letting multiple boa constrictors slither across your body, reports CBS New York.

According to Serpentessa, the snakes “tone and stimulate the vagus nerve in our body and that releases endorphins and oxytocin,” she told the network.

Assuming, of course, that they stay where they’re supposed to tone and stimulate. What are the chances of that?

The snake therapist herself admits she cannot control where the snakes go on a person’s body. Serpentessa does say that her snakes have never hurt anyone.

However, several “trained,” captive snakes have been known to hurt people — even if just by accident.

“Oh, shut up, silly woman,” said that reptile with a grin;
“Now you knew darn well I was a snake before you brought me in.”

(Via Fark.)

3 comments

  1. fillyjonk »

    26 June 2019 · 9:49 pm

    1. Serpentessa sounds like a He-Man villainess

    2. I “stimulated my vagus nerve” once when I was in high school – one of the horse-pill antibiotics I had to take for a sinus infection hit something on the way down. I woke up on the floor with my mom on the phone to the paramedics.

    At least I got an EEG out of the experience.

  2. The Brickmuppet »

    27 June 2019 · 6:49 pm

    Not strictly related and yet oddly relevant.
    http://badnewspaper.com/2019/06/27/hmmmm/

  3. CGHill »

    27 June 2019 · 7:30 pm

    “If you got a cold,” said the minstrel from Hibbing, “take a shot of malaria.”

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tCcnJ5kbFMg

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