Flesh unpressed

Roberta X calls it “Antisocialism,” but it’s not what it sounds like it ought to be:

I’m thinking about proposing a form of government in which direct interpersonal contact is kept the the bare minimum. Automate the DMV! No more press conferences: Top government officials will receive a printed list of questions to answer weekly, by letter or e-mail. Congressthings will be required to remain seated, eyes front, when the House or Senate is in session — wireless microphones will let them address their fellows. And, of course, lobbyists will be required to use the mail.

Let us have a government of laws, not of men. And let the men (and women, and you over there with your very own pronoun) we do have keep to themselves. There’s no need to get chummy; just do your job and clock out at the end of the day. No autographs, no press-the-flesh meetings, none of that. Baby-kissing will be prohibited by law.

If you’re thinking this takes all the excitement out of politics, well, duh:

Dull? Darned right it would be dull. There’s no reason politics should be a three-ring circus.

I wonder: if we had this, would fewer clowns run for office?


  1. Francis W. Porretto »

    23 July 2019 · 7:53 am

    I still think that if you want to “de-clown” politics, convicted criminals are the answer…that is, unless Congress should someday outlaw clowns.

  2. fillyjonk »

    23 July 2019 · 10:09 am

    I tend to lean to very strict term limits, and limited pay and perks (so making the job less attractive, especially for clowns) but I think maybe Roberta’s idea makes even more sense.

    We’re learning, in these “interesting” times, just how much of a blessing “boring” can be.

  3. McGehee »

    23 July 2019 · 11:52 am

    Make the elected officials’ pay contingent on how much time they spend in their fargin’ districts — and use teleconferencing for committee hearings and debates. Their district offices can have secure facilities for said teleconferences and for the casting of votes.

  4. Roberta X »

    27 July 2019 · 9:38 am

    Thank you! :) I was hoping someone would run with it.

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