It crawled into my shorts, honest

The quality of alibis is seriously strained these days:

A Louisiana woman allegedly caught with meth hidden inside her vagina said she didn’t know where the drugs came from, police said.

Ashley Beth Rolland, 23, was accused on July 31 of stealing $5,000 from the apartment of a man she’d been staying with for about a week, according to documents published by the Ouachita Parish Sheriff’s Office.

The man told the West Monroe Police Department that while he was showering, Rolland swiped his cash and left. Rolland allegedly confessed to police she did take the man’s money and left his apartment.

The documents said a female correctional officer later searched Rolland and, inside of Rolland’s vagina, discovered $6,233 along with “a clear plastic bag” of roughly one gram of meth — which Rolland denied was hers.

I guess what we want to know here is which came out first, the money or the meth.

8 comments »

  1. McGehee »

    8 August 2019 · 9:06 pm

    On another blog, my comment paraphrased “Once In a Lifetime” by the Talking Body Parts.

  2. matthew W »

    9 August 2019 · 6:19 am

    Wonder if these two are sisters:

    https://bacontime.wordpress.com/2013/12/04/seperated-at-birth-2/

  3. Stephen J. »

    9 August 2019 · 7:33 am

    Well, that’s another fine meth she’s gotten herself into. Or gotten into herself.

  4. The Other McCain »

    9 August 2019 · 8:02 am

    In The Mailbox: 08.08.19 (Not The Special Hitler Edition)

    […] Dustbury: It Crawled Into My Shorts, Honest […]

  5. Francis W. Porretto »

    9 August 2019 · 9:29 am

    Not like the Koala Tea of Mercy, eh Charles? That’s never strained.

  6. CGHill »

    9 August 2019 · 2:29 pm

    You have won one (1) Internet. Please pick up before the close of business today.

  7. Bill C. »

    9 August 2019 · 4:31 pm

    Photos show her as a nice looking girl. After a few months of meth, she won’t look so good.

  8. CGHill »

    9 August 2019 · 8:26 pm

    For sure. Meth ages you, and not in the way they call “distinguished” either.

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