I suspect it’s a wash

When I was in the Army, we were expected to perform the Three S’s at reveille, two of which were “shower” and “shave.” Understandably, civilians have more options:

I accumulate dirt, sweat, and germs all day. I get the grime of the city on me; I have to use public bathrooms; I bump up against people in the metro; I may walk barefoot; I get sweaty from walking around, etc. Rather than marinate in all that as I slumber, I take a nice, hot, relaxing shower right before I go to bed. Then I’m clean from all the things that actually make me dirty, and I get into clean sheets — ones not soiled by the accumulated grossness clinging to me from the waking hours.

So I’m nice and fresh for bed. Then I sleep for 8 (or 10) hours and wake up. Guess what — still clean! I just rinse the sleep off my face, put on makeup, blow out my hair, and presto — I’m ready for the day in 20 minutes. Why do I want to go to bed dirty, then wake up dirty only to get clean right before I head out and get all grimed up again?

I’m just jealous that she sleeps for 8 (or 10) hours.

I should point out here that even doing the shower in the morning, I can still get out of the house in 30-35 minutes, and that when my accumulated grossness exceeds a certain threshold, I’ll do one in the evening in addition to one in the morning: today’s session was the 9th of the week.

If anyone else is a night showerer, give me a shout-out. I seriously don’t know anyone. Maybe I should start a Facebook group.

I know one, I think. I’m not absolutely sure; I seem to recall that she mentioned this at one time or another. It’s not like I ever saw her do it or anything.


  1. Tatyana »

    6 September 2008 · 1:31 pm

    yes, but what yogurt has to do with it?

  2. CGHill »

    6 September 2008 · 1:39 pm

    “Almost Yogurt” is a catchall category for cultural (get it?) phenomena. Doesn’t imply anything else.

  3. Tatyana »

    6 September 2008 · 3:17 pm

    no, I don’t. But then, again, if I count the times that happens, I’ll be still counting when retired.

    why yogurt and not sour cream? why not a “cigar”, for instance? where precisely “catch all/cultural” inter-cross with “dairy”? and what taking showers (or baths with lavender, as is my own preference) has to do with “cultural phenomena”? isn’t washing oneself has been pretty common for people for about…or, 6000 years, if you look in the Old testament?

    But I’m so used to having no clue to stuff others find witty and even humorous, I don’t even ask the questions anymore.

  4. CGHill »

    6 September 2008 · 4:10 pm

    The term originates in an old joke about any place you wouldn’t want to live, or admit to it if you did:

    “What’s the difference between [name of place to be sneered at] and yogurt?”

    The answer: Yogurt has a living culture.

    Not so witty or even humorous, perhaps, but good for the top two slots in Google.

  5. Tatyana »

    6 September 2008 · 7:32 pm

    simple when you know what’s that about

  6. CGHill »

    7 September 2008 · 1:37 am

    If then. :)

  7. sya »

    7 September 2008 · 12:28 pm

    I’m trying to think back on when I used to live in a dorm and of what I remember of bathroom traffic. There were probably equal numbers of people (both male and female) who showered in the morning or the evening. I’ve had roommates who did one or the other. Perhaps it’s more of what sort of habit was ingrained into you when you were growing up.

  8. fillyjonk »

    7 September 2008 · 1:08 pm

    When I can (when I’m not ripped from the comfort of my home by responsibilities in the evening), I prefer to shower and (more importantly) wash my hair in the evening. Because I have dry brittle hair to begin with, and blow-drying it makes things worse. So being able to wash my hair and let it air-dry in the couple of hours before bed helps to preserve it.

    And besides, it is extremely nice to be able to be clean when you get into bed.

    Not to mention that tacking on an extra half-hour (to shower and deal with hair-cleaning) or more to the 0-dark-30 that I already get up would probably push me over the brink and leave me sobbing some evening at one of those evening meetings, going “I have been up since 4 AM! I don’t give a (bleep) whether we change the color of the cover of the yearbook for the coming year! Do what you want; I need sleep”

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