Read the label

And be prepared to weep:

While looking for a meal replacement bar, one must be careful. I generally lean towards Kashi or Clif/Luna because they contain better ingredients. For example, the Balance Bar claims it does not contain high fructose corn syrup. However, if you read the label, it contains: fructose, corn syrup. Granted, it wasn’t high fructose corn syrup, but it was corn syrup. I don’t know if I’d call attention to the lack of high fructose corn syrup with those not-much-better ingredients. That is, unless people don’t read the ingredients anymore.

The current state of things: you could probably sell a bar made from feldspar and duck droppings so long as it has zero grams of trans fat.

Seriously. A local paint store once advertised “100% CARB FREE PAINT”. Sold like hotcakes. With some form of syrup, I presume.


  1. Ed Flinn »

    1 May 2008 · 12:22 pm

    For your amusement, Sugar Free Socks.

  2. fillyjonk »

    1 May 2008 · 4:48 pm

    If I ran a food manufacturey, I’d probably want to do something a little surreal and bizarre with the ingredient list – maybe, in the middle of it, in that tiny type, put in the phrase, “If you have read this, tell the cashier, ‘I welcome our new rabbit overlords.'” and then send representatives/camera crews out to random groceries to see if anyone actually did it.

    Or, more prosaically, put a PO box address and tell them, “If you’ve read this far, send a SASE to…” and send any SASEs received back with a coupon for a free box of the product.

    I read labels but then again I’m just paranoid enough to suspect that some manufacturer might just try putting duck droppings in a food and claim that it’s some new supercharged vitamin.

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