I was made Columnist of the Year in 2003 for regular pieces I wrote on subjects of morality. Does he have a similar award? Can he show it to me?
I have 18 other major awards for television drama, theatre and feature film writing, including three Premier’s Awards.
What prizes does Tim have in these areas?
Regular readers of these pages will recognize this particular gambit as Playing the Rob Schneider Card. Background, early 2005:
- Patrick Goldstein, in the Los Angeles Times, took a shot at Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo, to the effect that it was “sadly overlooked at Oscar time because apparently nobody had the foresight to invent a category for Best Running Penis Joke Delivered by a Third-Rate Comic.”
- Deuce Bigalow star Rob Schneider subsequently took out a full-page ad in Variety attacking Goldstein’s credentials: “Well Mr. Goldstein, as far as your snide comments about me and my film not being nominated for an Academy Award, I decided to do some research to find what awards you have won. I went online and found that you have won nothing. Absolutely nothing. No journalistic awards of any kind, Disappointed, I went to the Pulitzer Prize database of past winners and nominees. I though, surely, there must be an omission. I typed in the name Patrick Goldstein and again, zippo nada.” And so forth.
Which would have been the end of that, except that six months later, Roger Ebert stepped into the fray:
Schneider is correct, and Patrick Goldstein has not yet won a Pulitzer Prize. As chance would have it, I have won the Pulitzer Prize, and so I am qualified. Speaking in my official capacity as a Pulitzer Prize winner, Mr. Schneider, your movie sucks.
Were I Bob Ellis, I’d be listening carefully for another shoe to drop. Just in case.