Strange search-engine queries (40)

And the stranger they are, the more likely they are to be cut out of Site Meter’s list and posted here.

switch bodies with Cameron Diaz:  Something tells me this isn’t Roseanne Barr’s wish list.

aesthetic classics/oldsmobile/vodka:  It would take roughly half a bottle of Ketel One to make a late-Seventies Cutlass look good.

how do magicians saw someone in half:  Traditionally, with a saw, though modern three-way slicing techniques call for large panel-like blades.

short hair ohio bats:  During lake-effect snows they flee to Kentucky.

did southern belles wear makeup?  You’d never know it if they did.

blocking spam from senders with jumbled consonants:  You mean “zvtbhqxl@npltzjh.qzw” isn’t a real email address?

how to firm slackened labia:  Two parts alum, one part Summer’s Eve.

konqueror coding error icon illuminati:  Did you run the fnord job?

biting beaver “male sexuality”:  It is considered bad form actually to bite it.

is yogurt colored with crushed red beetles:  Well, not the plain varieties.

ursula andress concave:  I remember her as being delightfully convex.

microsoft allegory:  It ends with Bill Gates saying “640k ought to be enough for anyone.”

women nude in back yard:  Not in my back yard. I checked.

maids that do more than clean in okc:  You can’t afford them.

magical quatrain to have a big bombshell breasted sexy wife:  “O spirits and powers / Grant this unto me / Adjust her rack outwards / No smaller than C.”


  1. John Salmon »

    6 November 2006 · 4:56 pm

    Great stuff, CGH.

  2. CGHill »

    7 November 2006 · 7:53 pm

    You should have seen the ones I threw away.

    Then again, maybe you shouldn’t.

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