A Colonel of truth

News Item: Colonel Sanders is shedding his white suit jacket for a cook’s red apron. The smiling Colonel is featured against a red background that matches his red apron with the name “Kentucky Fried Chicken.” KFC had dropped “fried” from its name and logo over a decade ago as it expanded its non-fried menu items to appeal to the health conscious.

Top Ten Other Expected Restaurant Changes:

  1. Taco Bell purchased by AT&T
  2. Sonic Drive-In moves headquarters from Oklahoma City to Seattle
  3. Federal Trade Commission rules that Long John Silver’s is “not all that long”
  4. Carl’s III spun off
  5. Union fails to organize Cheesecake Factory, dessert cart subsequently outsourced
  6. Burger King outed, was a queen all along
  7. New European Union rules prohibit Olive Garden from describing itself as “Italian”
  8. Chuck E. Cheese moves upscale, will now be known as Charles Edward Wensleydale
  9. Popeye’s Chicken adds spinach to menu after nasty note from King Features Syndicate
  10. Donald Trump buys McDonald’s, restaurants to be rebranded “The Donald’s,” new slogan: “I Deserve a Tax Break Today”

(Posted before lunch.)


  1. McGehee »

    16 November 2006 · 12:32 pm

    I always thought Olive Garden was the final clue to Popeye’s last name — assuming they finally got married.

  2. Dwayne "the canoe guy" »

    16 November 2006 · 4:30 pm

    & the FTC forces Hooters to finally add deep-fried owl to the menu.

  3. Silflay Hraka »

    21 November 2006 · 10:58 pm

    Carnival of the Vanities #218: The Thanksgiving Edition

    Okay, I have to resort to the InstaCarny format again this week. No time to read everything again. I do apologize. It is my intention to find time for this blog some time in the near future. The new job…

RSS feed for comments on this post