Future immobile

About half past three I started to get up from my desk.

And stopped.

Waves of pain ripped through my midsection, starting at the left and working halfway around the back.

I kept going, and so did they.

It took somewhere around three minutes to get close enough to the telephone to call my doctor. And when I got up, I didn’t dare get back down, lest the cycle repeat.

Which I did, and which it did.

The procession out the front door was ghastly; we’d pressed an office chair into temporary service as a walker. (I will fear these things for the rest of my life.)

The examination was highly inconclusive: fever of 101 and a shade, blood pressure on the high side (duh) and a white-cell count about 60 percent higher than spec. And yes, on the off-chance that it was a renal issue, I filled up the little plastic cup. Probably purer than your average generic label bottled water.

So we don’t know for certain, but it’s clearly got to be some kind of infection attacking the muscles in that vicinity, since everything else checked out more or less normally. Antibiotics are being taken, and my collection of industrial-strength pain pills has been incremented. (George Carlin comes to mind: “And why would a doctor prescribe pain pills? I already have pain. I need relief pills!” Bless your crotchety old soul, George.)

At this time I don’t know if I’m going to chance the trip to work tomorrow. So far the medical expense has been trivial — $54 or thereabouts — but calling in sick will cost me upwards of $100. I suppose the determining factor will be whether I get any sleep tonight.

And yes, I admit it, somewhere in the roughest going I started wondering if maybe actually cashing in my chips might be preferable. The answer was waiting for me when I got home: an unusually-late issue of TV Guide, featuring an interview with Christina Applegate, who’s had things a hell of a lot worse than I ever did. To borrow a phrase, His eye is not just on the sparrow.


  1. Kay Dennison »

    6 November 2008 · 9:38 pm

    Been there; done that. Scared I was dyin’ and afraid I wasn’t.

    Read my How I Got to Be Me blog if you don’t believe me. It’s not listed on Google but you can get to it through my profile.

    Sending good thoughts and prayers that you are back in playing shape quickly.

  2. Jeffro »

    6 November 2008 · 11:36 pm

    Wow. Hope you feel better soon.

  3. Dick Stanley »

    6 November 2008 · 11:59 pm

    Gad, I hope you feel better soon. If it was me, I’d get an MRI. An abdominal X-ray at the least.

  4. fillyjonk »

    7 November 2008 · 7:20 am

    Oh, wow. I hope you’re feeling better. I hear “abdominal pain” and I instantly think either “appendix” or “gall bladder.” Hope it’s neither of those, and hope it’s something that heals soon and without surgery.

  5. CGHill »

    7 November 2008 · 7:43 am

    Well, it’s in the wrong place for either of those turkeys, unless my insides have been rearranged with a pair of salad tongs or something.

    I’m on the second dose of antibiotics, to which I seem to be responding fairly well. (And I always respond well to Lortab.)

  6. Kirk »

    7 November 2008 · 7:53 am

    Take care of yourself, Chaz. Wishes for quick recovery heading your way, and prayers for same to the One who watches and cares, sparrows and all.

  7. Jan »

    7 November 2008 · 8:20 am

    egads, Charles. I hope you heal quickly and tat your pain subsides. We’re pulling for you!

  8. Tatyana »

    7 November 2008 · 8:27 am

    calling in sick will cost me upwards of $100

    What’s your priority, Chaz?

    Get well.

  9. CGHill »

    7 November 2008 · 8:50 am

    As an Informed Health Care Consumer, I seek to minimize my costs to the extent I can do so without jeopardizing the treatment.

    Doesn’t always work the way I’d like: the only reliable hypertension tab for me is priced in the upper stratosphere by the current pharmacy providers at CFI Care, whereas the previous pharmacy providers merely marked it up to Tier Two. I made a discreet inquiry as to how much I’d have to pay for this stuff if I cut them out of the loop, and was informed that rather than the $1 a tab I used to pay, or the $2 a tab I pay now, I’d have to fork over just under $3. Tell me this isn’t a racket. (And watch me four years from now when this stuff comes off patent and I can get it for $4-$10 a month.)

  10. sya »

    7 November 2008 · 10:42 am

    Yikes! I hope you’re taking it easy for a speedy recovery.

  11. CGHill »

    7 November 2008 · 10:44 am

    I’m working, but I’m doing as little of the physical stuff as I can get away with.

  12. Tatyana »

    7 November 2008 · 12:14 pm

    Four years from now we might have the famed nationalised healthcare, and your tab will officially cost you $.72, but will be in such [artificially]short supply, that you’ll be forced to buy it on black market – and pay $3.50.

    It is a racket – but not of the worst kind.

  13. CGHill »

    7 November 2008 · 12:25 pm

    Actually, what I would expect from a plan of this sort is a ceiling price on drugs, which in turn would result in less R&D spending by drug companies, which in turn would result in fewer new drugs — though it won’t matter, since the national plan, under a mandate to save money, will prescribe only the cheapest stuff which might have a chance of working. (Unless, of course, you’re high enough up in the hierarchy; Nancy Pelosi will never lack for Botox.)

  14. Tatyana »

    7 November 2008 · 12:27 pm

    That too.

  15. T Town Tommy »

    7 November 2008 · 2:19 pm

    Man I hate doctors and hospitals, I am hoping you get well quickly and can avoid both at all cost.

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