Strange search-engine queries (148)

If you were wondering “When’s the next time we get to look at some more weird search strings?” the answer is “Right about now.”

hedge against car depreciation:  Don’t ever drive it. In fact, don’t even buy it.

haggis gummi bears Angry Scotsman:  Well, no wonder he was angry.

flux capacitor tattoo:  Most needle artists don’t have the 1.21 gigawatts it takes to make this design.

By hook or by crook, obtain an IQ of a minimum 75. Advice – go to the library and play some games!  Yeah, that’ll pile on the points in no time.

makeup that stays on during makeout sessions:  You’d think Cover Girl or Revlon or somebody would have addressed this need by now.

unicorn dick tattoos:  Has anyone actually seen one long enough to make a design from it?

He stated that she never once balked at the full-frontal nudity:  At which time the alarm went off and he realized that he’d dreamed the whole thing, from tryouts to trial.

does braums cook hamburgers all day:  Until three minutes before you walk in.

Pedestrian mohel orange county california:  A zoning variance for a drive-through was denied.

i think i’m correct therefore i am correct:  This mantra has kept Paul Ehrlich alive for over thirty years.

“quaaludes government controversies in the 70’s”:  Nothing controversial about ‘ludes. You just pop a couple and … zzzzzzzz …


  1. McGehee »

    1 December 2008 · 8:43 am

    Of course haggis gummi bears would make a Scotsman angry. Haggis flavor is for chocolate cremes. Gummi bears should be Scotch-flavored.

  2. Tatyana »

    1 December 2008 · 1:22 pm

    Can you do your one-liner magic on mine?
    The [incomplete] list:
    -“obama grandmother’s strategically tim
    -trompe l’oeil drawer
    -fresh building toronto
    -“hungarian nut cake”
    -surrealisme collage
    -elizabeth taylor slip
    -bangunan post modern

  3. CGHill »

    1 December 2008 · 1:41 pm

    ”obama grandmother’s strategically tim”: I remember Tim well. Used to work at the County Courthouse, he did. Couldn’t get anything else done for you, but by God, he’d make sure you got to the polls.

    trompe l’oeil drawer: “Honey, where’s the silverware? No, seriously, where is it?”

    fresh building toronto: Of course it’s fresh. It’s not on Yonge Street.

    ”hungarian nut cake”: Very expensive; the Hungarians don’t part with their nuts willingly.

    surrealisme collage: It only looks like the ground under the D Train at 40 mph.

    elizabeth taylor slip: If you were lucky, that’s what she came out wearing.

    bangunan post modern: Soon as the Malayans finish up the modern buildings, we’ll get right to work on it.

  4. Tatyana »

    1 December 2008 · 2:06 pm

    Posting in 1,2…

RSS feed for comments on this post