You know someone like this, or you wish you did:
I fix all kinds of tech problems in our school. About half the time I have no experience fixing whatever I’m fixing, but they don’t know that and they think I’m a genius. Last week, a teacher couldn’t get her printer to print. It kept saying it was jammed but she couldn’t see anything in there. I took off the back cover (that was designed to be removed) and found a STRAW! Bingo. Sometimes I just push cords all the way in. Sometimes I use the help menu. Sometimes I fix the mysterious 3128 problem (don’t ask). Sometimes I reset user ID and passwords. Seriously, I should get paid more.
On the subject of 3128, I’m guessing that somebody’s been scanning ports looking for an open proxy.
But seriously, she should get paid more.