Los Angeles Sparks forward Candace Parker is on the cover of the current ESPN The Magazine, and Allison Glock’s cover story wants to make it perfectly clear that the WNBA star is a major hottie:
Candace Parker is beautiful. Breathtaking, really, with flawless skin, endless legs and a C cup she is proud of but never flaunts. She is also the best at what she does, a record-setter, a rule-breaker, a redefiner. She is a woman who plays like a man, one of the boys, if the boys had C cups and flawless skin. She’s nice, too. Sweet, even. Kind to animals and children, she is the sort of woman who worries about others more than about herself, a saint in high-tops.
Far be it from me to dispute any of these assertions, and I am not one to start shrieking SEXIST! when I see things like that in print, but can you imagine an article about a male player starting that way?
Well, actually, Arash Markazi can, and it would look something like this:
Kobe Bryant is beautiful. Breathtaking, really, with flawless skin, endless legs and six-pack abs he is proud of but never flaunts. He is also the best at what he does, a record-setter, a rule-breaker, a redefiner. He is a man who plays like a man amongst boys, if the boys had six-pack abs and flawless skin. He’s nice, too. Sweet, even. Kind to animals and children, he is the sort of man who worries about others more than about himself, a saint in high-tops.
In the best of all possible worlds, I suppose, both those paragraphs would be equally grating. And you know, Parker’s a forward, while Bryant’s a guard; I’d expect her legs to be a tad more endless than his, even though he’s two inches taller.