Avoiding the Morning Zoo

Jaci writes to whoever’s running the morning shows on commercial radio:

I understand it’s 7 am and no one wants to be driving to work in the cold. I see their grumpy faces every morning in my rearview (oh, wait, that’s me checking my eye makeup) and they barely stop for the Beauty School students crossing Main Street with funky orange hair (yeah, that was me again — my heel slipped off the brake). I know you’re supposed to put everyone in a great mood — or at least top their Corn Pops breakfast.

But your morning shows SUCK. Can Bubba tell the kiss of a man? Can a transvestite do a backflip into a split in heels?

Do I look like I care?

It’s 7 am and I have a three year old in the car. Do you have to talk about sex and transvestites and hookers every freaking day? Here’s a thought — PLAY SOME MUSIC.

Occasionally people are puzzled when they hear that I pour a three-digit sum (well, a low three-digit sum) into public radio each year. Perhaps this explains why.


  1. Don Mecoy »

    7 April 2009 · 8:03 am

    Bully for you.

    I drive my teen to school every day, and I’ve managed to get him hooked on “Morning Edition” to the extent that switches the station if it’s on some other station.

    Someone needs to explain to me how morning radio devolved to its current state.

  2. fillyjonk »

    7 April 2009 · 8:14 am

    I blame the fact that the 18-34 male demographic is apparently the Holy Grail of marketing. And that marketers think that the 18-34 male demographic wants crude, crude, and more crude. (Whether or not they actually want that is a moot point).

    I don’t HAVE a public radio station I can pick up where I live. Luckily my commute is only 5 minutes on a good day.

  3. sya »

    7 April 2009 · 9:48 am

    But seven in the morning? At least it’s too early for the 18-22 segment to be awake.

  4. CT »

    7 April 2009 · 10:15 am

    Morning zoos are merely the tip of the iceberg — commercial radio at any hour is at best drab, and at worst repetitive junk. When I was still driving daily, all that conspired to force me into invest in a cardash iPod player, and I never looked back.

    Of course, we could all just turn the audio off altogether. But that would be silly.

  5. Old Grouch »

    7 April 2009 · 12:09 pm

    “Here’s a thought — PLAY SOME MUSIC.”

    Silly rabbit, it’s not about playing music. It’s about filling the holes between the blocks of commercials.

  6. McGehee »

    7 April 2009 · 1:41 pm

    When we’ve finished killing off newspapers, the radio stations are next.

    <evil, maniacal cackle>

  7. John Owen Butler »

    7 April 2009 · 5:44 pm

    I am sorry for my role in the crapification of morning radio. In 1981, as a 23 year old operations manager of a radio station in Greenville, TX, I fired this guy because he stunk. He got fired-up, came back a few months later (I left the station in the interim) and was hired; the rest, they say, is history. Sigh. http://www.russmartin.info/faq/cast/17-who-is-russ-martin

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