I agree with you – in that I’d hesitate to disperse advice about sex and love, especially to a 20yo college girl full of self pity.
There was not just that one guy at the party, Chaz, if you noticed. There is a whole history of screwed up relationships. The similar way they all end might not be all “her fault”, but the fact that she doesn’t have any friends, any friends at all – at 20! – would make me not to be too quick with running to comfort her.
In any case, I’d rather stay away. The gap between generations in my understanding of 20yo, sadly, is too deep at this time for a solid judgment.
Fortunately for me, when I was 20ish and not exactly joyful, I was busy doing Uncle Sam’s business, which took up so much of my time that I didn’t have much opportunity to wallow in gloom though I did take advantage of the willingness of the Pentagon to subsidize our ethanol consumption.
Good on you for at least TRYING to encourage her to do the right things.
The internet being what it is, on some sites the trolls probably would have pushed the poor girl to do exactly the wrong things.
(Also, the “no friends” comment was probably the despair talking, (or at least I hope it is). I’ve said those kinds of things about myself – that I have no friends, that I’m the eternal screw-up, etc., etc. but in my case a night’s sleep is usually enough to dispel those feelings)
I never know what to say either – I’ve once in a while had students who seemed pretty desperate – and had one who told me he was on some meds that were giving him thoughts of hurting himself. Usually all I do is look very concerned and say, “Please go talk to someone (we have a counselor on campus whose number I can hand out) who knows how to help you.”