Because corporate paranoia is good for you

Here’s the pitch for CyberAlert®:

CyberAlert’s local, national and worldwide media tracking services offer today’s most comprehensive, time-efficient, and economical way to find and “clip” what’s being said in the news media and/or by consumers about a company, its products, people or competitors.

Okay, fair enough. Nobody with actual work to do has time to comb through the Web looking for stray references; outsourcing this tedious task makes a certain amount of sense. But one of their clients was sent this link, which lands on this week’s Strange Search-Engine Queries.

So: who’s spending good money to find themselves mentioned? Possible candidates:

  • Jessica Simpson
  • H.E.B.
  • Dairy Queen
  • Rev. Sun Myung Moon
  • Costco
  • Sam’s Club
  • Michelle Obama
  • Larry King
  • The Home Depot

I think we can safely eliminate Mrs. O: she’s got, um, more extensive resources at her disposal these days. And someone’s already run a Google Blogsearch for Rev. Moon.

Larry King, maybe?


  1. fillyjonk »

    5 May 2009 · 8:52 pm

    Probably companies with lousy customer service and psychopath CEOs or lawyers, so they can send “cease and desist” letters to bloggers who might have the temerity to say that they are less than 100% overjoyed with said company….

  2. CGHill »

    5 May 2009 · 9:04 pm

    To paraphrase Mark Twain, or someone who sounded like Mark Twain anyway, one should never pick a fight with someone who buys pixels by the gigabyte, or something like that.

  3. Dan B »

    6 May 2009 · 12:36 am

    My money is on Home Depot. Remember, they’re the same assholes would fired employees for stopping shoplifters, thereby cutting into Home Depot’s insurance scam where they collect MSRP on the item stolen and pocketing the difference.

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