Mighty morphine power arranger

Residual aches and pains and such have depleted approximately 60 percent of my stockpile of opioids — mostly this stuff — in the past several months. I have not asked for another prescription, and don’t plan to unless something starts hurting on the grand scale.

Most of the, um, collection was obtained as a byproduct of dental work: the dentist prescribes me ten, I take one or two over the next day, and the rest go into cold storage. Then again, last time I had serious dental work — a wisdom tooth pulled back in December — I blew off the prescription, and one I had sitting around from February for 10 Lortab I sent to the shredder, though unlike some states, Oklahoma doesn’t seem to have a rule that says the prescription must be filled in X number of days or it’s invalid.

That said, maybe I’m better off without them, and for reasons other than the usual Fear of Addiction:

Opioids can upregulate the virulence of bad bacteria. Also, in the presence of opioids, bad bacteria secrete factors which kill off the good bacteria. Maybe we should all have second thoughts about getting that morphine at the hospital.

Given my tendency toward OCD, you may be sure that strict stock-rotation rules were observed: older tablets and/or capsules were taken before those more recently prescribed. I note with some curiosity that most of what remains in reserve is Schedule IV-level stuff; most of what I’ve already taken was on Schedule II. Fewer potential questions, I suppose.


  1. Lisa Paul »

    23 May 2009 · 8:16 pm

    And who says we’re not winning the war on drugs?!

  2. CGHill »

    23 May 2009 · 8:19 pm

    Me. I had seven prescriptions filled today.

    Then again, none of them were for opioids; as close as I came was an NSAID I pop occasionally for arthritis. (Or, I suppose, against arthritis.)

  3. Andrea Harris »

    23 May 2009 · 9:36 pm

    I found that hydrocodone worked for maybe two days, and then after that all it did was make me dizzy and nauseous. This was from the abscessed tooth — which really only started feeling better when I got that taken care of.

    The best painkiller I ever had was Demerol, which they gave me in the hospital when I had a kidney stone. It stopped the excrutiating pain dead in its tracks. Unfortunately they wouldn’t give it to me more than two days — well, maybe that was a good thing, because it also gave me the weirdest nightmares.

  4. Dr. Weevil »

    23 May 2009 · 10:36 pm

    Would it count as changing the subject if I mention that I’m on my second glass of absinthe tonight, and for that matter ever? I don’t think it would, actually. Tasty, but not as novel an experience as I expected, in fact a lot like ouzo.

  5. CGHill »

    23 May 2009 · 10:44 pm

    Thujone, the serious stuff in absinthe, is still regulated by the Feds, so I don’t think this is off-topic at all.

  6. sya »

    24 May 2009 · 12:06 am

    I suppose this isn’t really a good time to mention that NSAIDs have been implicated in increasing Group A strep’s chances of evading the immune system?

  7. McGehee »

    24 May 2009 · 9:38 am

    The last time I really found drugs to be all they were cracked up to be, was years ago when I had a sinus infection and needed both antibiotics and a serious painkiller (the name of which I do not recall). As a result I pretty much slept through the antibiotics doing their miraculous work, but I awoke much happier.

    The pills I was given shortly after my Type 2 diabetes diagnosis were pretty good too, but the ones that were supposed to help me lose weight seem to have worked a little too well and every bit as permanently as any of those diet plans sold on TV. Talk about disappointing.

  8. CGHill »

    24 May 2009 · 10:10 am

    At least a couple of NSAIDs, including one I used to take, were ordered off the market a few years ago after clinical trials turned up an increased risk of what were then called “cardiovascular events.” I have no illusions about the safety of anything stronger than Twizzlers.

  9. Andrea Harris »

    24 May 2009 · 12:34 pm

    To get the effects of absinthe I just drink original flavor Nyquil. (It’s also great if you have one of those colds where you can’t sleep because you can’t stop sneezing and dripping from the eyes and nose. It dries you up and knocks you out. Or, well, me anyway.) Of course, I hate the taste of licorice and anise, so things with that flavor are right out for me. (I usually get the cherry-flavor Nyquil, which is slightly less vile, though that’s not saying much.)

  10. CGHill »

    26 May 2009 · 10:26 pm

    Speaking of NSAIDs, I picked up a fresh scrip this past weekend, and now it comes with 2½ pages of warnings over and above the half-dozen stickers on the bottle. Just a matter of time, I suppose, before that strep reference makes it onto the list.

  11. PB »

    27 May 2009 · 2:53 am

    And who says we’re not winning the war on drugs?!

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