Strange search-engine queries (174)

The explanation is in the title: what follows is a collection of actual search strings that landed Web surfers on this very site last week. And yes, we’ve done this several times before, hence the number in parentheses.

is columbus oh bigger than new york city:  Not unless Bloomberg sells Queens to the Chinese.

do people talk less to one another then [sic] they did ten years ago:  Um, did you say something?

Loose mama with truly mind-blowing enormous melons:  If your mind is that easily blown, you don’t stand a chance of tightening up a “loose mama.”

kim “ill-hung”:  Yeah, like your Pyongyang is so great.

invisible woman permanent:  It’s tricky to give her a quick style, let alone a perm.

thinking proactively:  Nut-uh. It’s summertime. I’m thinking anti-actively.

psychology pedophile knee to the groin scenario:  Sounds like an aversion-therapy technique to me.

meaning of “dinner at eight”:  “Well, it’s just past 7:59. Let’s eat.”

roughly when was silicon invented:  A few nanoseconds after the Big Bang.

As a professional journalist, I pride myself on my ability to fabricate a thesis out of any three random pieces of data:  You’re overqualified for The New York Times, then. What can you do with one random piece of data?

Does Jim Cantore have A Big Weiner:  Now there’s a random piece of data.

Snot and Feces live at the Grunt Festival:  Who’s the opening act? Drööl?


  1. fillyjonk »

    1 June 2009 · 7:38 am

    Sadly, I will now never look at the Weather Channel the same way again.

  2. McGehee »

    1 June 2009 · 9:13 am

    Not to worry, FJ, that searcher merely relied on spell-check and really wanted to know about Cantore’s gray dog, Weisenheimer.

  3. Dick Stanley »

    1 June 2009 · 9:37 am

    Indeed, your “professional journalist” has not heard of the one-phone-call story. Or is pretending not to have heard of it.

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