Shark treatment

If it’s really necessary to punish Jessica Alba for all those shark posters in downtown OKC, I suggest a variation on Ludovico’s Technique: pop her eyeballs open and make her sit through seven or eight screenings of Into the Blue.

Arguments that this would violate the Eighth Amendment will be heard below.


  1. Lisa Paul »

    9 June 2009 · 7:57 pm

    Are you really advocating a “bit of the old ultraviolence” for Jessica?

  2. CGHill »

    9 June 2009 · 8:12 pm

    Naw. But viddying that film over and over will surely instill a feeling of regret. (I saw it only once and I regret it still.)

  3. Jeffro »

    9 June 2009 · 9:51 pm

    But will her actions sell tickets?

    I’m always pretty skeptical when actors and actresses just happen to be in the news when their latest flick is needing some attention.

    Banish her to the droogs!

  4. CGHill »

    10 June 2009 · 7:25 am

    She’s issued an apology, and presumably her handlers will take care of the damage claims.

    It occurs to me that this never happens to the Invisible Woman. (Should have had her doing the tagging, eh? At least she’d have Reed Richards’ polymer technology backing up her posters.)

  5. Dan B »

    11 June 2009 · 12:04 am

    Shark-advocacy in Oklahoma? The only sharks around here wear 3-piece suits and ask you to call them if you’ve been in an accident.

  6. CGHill »

    13 June 2009 · 10:19 am

    Carrie Coppernoll quips in the Oklahoman:

    Maybe next time, target a city within 400 miles of the ocean.

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