Unexpected turns of something

Perhaps the stomach?

Melinda woke up suddenly to the sound of her trailer being pounded with wind and hail, and she couldn’t help thinking that if she had only put her prized hog up for adoption last May, none of this would be happening, no one would have gotten hurt, and she wouldn’t be left with only nine toes, or be living in a mobile home park in Nebraska with a second-rate trapeze artist named Fred.

By Ada Marie Finkel of Boston, this was the winner in the “Romance” category in the 2009 Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest, and the one entry I’m most likely to remember when I can’t sleep some dark and stormy night.


  1. Dick Stanley »

    7 October 2009 · 7:31 am

    Only nine toes?

  2. CGHill »

    7 October 2009 · 7:36 am

    Much is not being said here. (And I suspect we should be grateful.)

  3. localmalcontent »

    7 October 2009 · 5:33 pm

    I see some literary mistakes in this tome.
    NOBODY in Nebraska sells a hog, in May.

    Don’t lose more sleep, friend- put up a Paypal widget.

  4. localmalcontent »

    7 October 2009 · 5:36 pm

    Upon rereading this gripping novel, I see that Melinda didn’t sell that hog, logically.
    Not before football season, fer chrissake.

  5. CGHill »

    7 October 2009 · 5:43 pm

    Well, the dark is arriving ahead of schedule, and we’re supposed to get rain in a quantity that’s more than drizzle but less than Biblical.

    I’ve been meaning to write something up for Bulwer-Lytton, but most of my horrible stuff is merely horrible, which isn’t enough for Dishonorable Mention.

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