Archive for Sarahndipity

If this be satire, make the least of it

Though there’s always the chance that Ian Robinson might actually be serious:

Come for the culture war … stay for the chicks. Right-wing women rock.

Not for us the sturdy, honest calves of the New Democrat/Green Party female, honed on eco-tourist rainforest hikes.

Those legs are often on unfortunate display, extending from a knee-length tweed skirt as hairy as the legs themselves, and end in a pair of Birkenstocks.

Meanwhile, on the right side of the aisle:

The only sensible footwear you’ll find in a right-wing woman’s closet are the Nike cross-trainers that go with her gym membership.

Everything else has a three-inch heel. Minimum.

I concede up front that quite the nicest legs I’ve ever been privileged to observe in person belonged to a lady with impeccable Vast Right-Wing Conspiracy credentials, but that proves nothing: it’s a single data point, Sarah Palin notwithstanding. And heels don’t mean so much: is anyone prepared to argue that, for instance, Carrie Bradshaw and company are closet conservatives? I didn’t think so.

Jenn Q. Public quips:

The message should be loud and clear: “Please have sex with me. Someone? Anyone?”

Not to worry. Here’s to you, Mr Robinson: women scorn you more than you will know.

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Quote of the week

From Coyote Blog:

I generally don’t do horserace style political blogging on strategy between the Coke and Pepsi parties, and I am not going to start now. However, I did find it funny that it was Mike Huckabee threatening Sarah Palin that she should not leave the GOP. It’s funny to me because of all the things the GOP could do to potentially attract me to the party, having Mike Huckabee leave the party would be close to first on the list.

This motivated me to get up and pour another Dr Pepper.

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Speaking of high school

Sarah Heath, class of 1982, Wasilla High School

One of several recently-surfacing photos of Sarah Heath, class of ’82, Wasilla High School. Apparently there were a few leftover yearbooks; this one got autographed by Wasilla’s favorite daughter and donated to a youth group, which then auctioned it off on eBay, raising $651.50 for their mission trip.

I am told that the book contains ten pictures of Sarah, and five of Todd Palin.

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Quote of the week

While contemplating Sarah Palin’s potential for 2012, which may or may not be affected by her decision to step down as Governor of Alaska, Smitty takes note of another woman who is known to have interest in the Oval Office:

In the credit where due department, HRC is nothing if not cunning. She’s suddenly not going to Russia. Of course, it’s entire too early to connect the dots with other (scroll down a bit) “Unwelcome Distractions”. But it doesn’t take a prophet to realize that, if BHO is AFU in 2012, HRC will come back with the fury of a cancer that’s been in remission for a few years. Possibly I could have chosen a more pleasant metaphor, but as long as the electorate favors Beltway hangtime over Constitutional fidelity, the egalitarian oxymoron “political class” shall continue to weaken all you hold dear, tumor-like.

Not to mention growing.

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Sarah: always running

Sarah Palin in running gearThe Governor of Alaska is interviewed in the August Runner’s World, whence this picture was swiped, and she’s definitely the type to go the distance, hang the consequences:

I went for a run at John McCain’s ranch a couple of days before the debate with Joe Biden. My favorite thing in the world is to run on hot, dusty roads. I don’t get enough of that in Alaska. So I was in heaven and there were plenty of hills so I knew my thighs were going to just throb and my lungs were going to burn and that’s what I crave.

I like running alone and having the Secret Service with me added a little bit of pressure. I’m thinking I gotta have good form and can’t be hyperventilating and can’t be showing too much pain and that adds a little more pressure on you as you’re trying to be out there enjoying your run. Then I fell coming down a hill and was so stinkin’ embarrassed that a golf cart full of Secret Service guys had to pull up beside me. My hands just got torn up and I was dripping blood. In the debate you could see a big fat ugly Band-Aid on my right hand. I have a nice war wound now as a reminder of that fall in the palm of my right hand. For much of the campaign, shaking hands was a little bit painful.

The Secret Service, incidentally, lived up to their name by never saying a word about it.

The shoes (since you’re going to ask): Asics. More photos here.

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Sarah stops traffic

The Governor of Alaska showed up for Founder’s Day in Auburn, New York on Saturday.

Sarah Palin in Auburn, New York

Why, you ask? Auburn’s own William H. Seward, who served as Secretary of State in the Lincoln and (Andrew) Johnson administrations, was responsible for negotiating the purchase of Alaska from the Russians in 1867, and inasmuch as it’s the 50th anniversary of Alaska statehood this year … well, you get the idea. And the crowd was duly wowed.

Incidentally, that’s a ’59 Cadillac. Of course.

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Just in time for the new Camaro

A brief history of the mullet, the only hairstyle versatile enough to accommodate both MacGyver and Sarah Palin.

(Via jenX67.)

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Mission: 2012

Morgan Freeberg has a nice little comic rendering of Sarah Palin, but I like this one better:

Sarah Palin as Nemesis

She stands between Barack the Barbarian and the Treasure of Stimuli.

No, really.

(Via Webutante.)

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Where Sarah shops for shoes

It’s a little store on Juneau’s Seward Street called Shoefly + Hudsons, and here’s the scoop:

The shop, opened in 2005 by business partners Sydney Mitchell and Dawn Walsh, carries an array of rugged-meets-girly footwear, from strappy sandals to colorful cowgirl boots.

Of Palin’s shopping sprees, Mitchell stuck to the store’s “what happens at Shoefly + Hudsons stays at Shoefly + Hudsons” policy (okay, that’s really just in regard to sharing the personal info of those who sign up for the email newsletter) but she did say this: “Obviously she’s a busy elected official and doesn’t spend a lot of time shopping. But when Palin does stop in, usually there’s a family member with her. Last time she had Trig with her. She’s very personable and gracious and fun to help.”

To absolutely no one’s surprise, the governor “tends toward heels.”

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For all of you who were wondering

Apparently Sarah Palin wears a size 7½ shoe.

This won’t satisfy the one guy in my search logs every week looking for Ann Coulter’s shoe size, but you can’t have everything.

(Courtesy of Fausta.)

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Left over/unders

“A flurry of recent studies,” says Kiera Butler in Mother Jones (Jan/Feb ’09), “have tied Americans’ political orientation to everything from favorite foods to sexy dreams.” She then goes on to list “some of the more dubious findings from this new field of research,” two of which I mention here.

You may be a conservative if … you alphabetize your underwear drawer. Conservatives are more likely to have neat and tidy rooms, and liberals messy ones.

Well, there’s nothing on the floor, so I can claim that much neatness, anyway. As for my underwear drawer, I am at a loss as to how one would alphabetize its contents. I do, however, sort by color.

You may be a conservative if … your dreams are chaste. Nearly half of liberals report having erotic dreams; only 38% of conservatives admit to it.

I must point out here that while there is the occasional bit of sexual activity in my dreams, generally I’m not one of the individuals actually having it; this is one of the few exceptions I can recall. I must also point out here that “nearly half” implies a number in the 40-percent range, which is not all that much greater than 38. Then again, that latter number, says Butler, is subject to change:

(This was before Sarah Palin.)

Oh.

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Putting sexism to practical use

John Salmon spotted what he thought was a gratuitous Sarah Palin comparison in a New York Times article about Caroline Kennedy, which prompted this even more gratuitous comment from me:

Not that it’s a qualification or anything, but at least Caroline has a fair set o’ stems, if not in Sarah’s league.

Yeah, you can see how I mark my ballots. :)

Mr Salmon embraced this concept briefly (sorry, briefs not available):

Selecting women candidates by legs or other critical body parts is fine by me — after all, we’re going to have to look at them a lot, if they win. The only problem is a race between the likes of a Golda Meir and a Margaret Thatcher. I might have to sit that one out.

And then backed away ever so slightly:

Lest I be viewed as a sexist for the above comment, let me say that “The Sarah Rule”, that is to say, evaluating female candidates by their appearance, should only be used to break a tie. If you [have to choose between] two women whose experience, philosophy, etc. are more or less equal, then using TSR may be necessary.

In other words, Kay Bailey Hutchison over either Sandra Bullock or Sheryl Crow. I don’t have a problem with that.

Inasmuch as I’m going to be viewed as a sexist anyway for bringing it up, here’s some evidence to support my earlier premise, as snagged from CNN:

Caroline Kennedy

Again, not that it’s a qualification or anything. You’re not going to see me pushing, say, Zooey Deschanel for Congress.

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I tend to notice things like this

Andrew Crossett’s Celebrity Legs Gallery is one of my oldest bookmarks, for reasons I surely need not explain. The past few weeks, he’s been taking votes for the Best Celebrity Legs of 2008, and to my amusement, pixie-sized Kristen Bell (she’s five-one) got the most. (You tend to expect someone with seemingly-endless gams to take the title, or at least I do.)

Even more amusing, among the next ten, Tina Fey and Sarah Palin wound up right next to each other.

And the late Gloria Grahame was inducted into the Hall of Fame, in case you thought Mr Crossett’s readers might be afflicted by the Tyranny of the New.

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And yet more about Sarah’s wardrobe

Hmmm. Look who bought an outfit for Sarah Palin:

Ethics disclosure forms recently obtained under the Freedom of Information Act contained this oddity: $300 in clothes and footwear from … CNBC.

Turns out that the network’s Maria Bartiromo sat down with the Alaska governor in August, just days before she became John McCain’s running mate. The interview about oil, energy and drilling was conducted in Palin’s Anchorage office, where she wore her own suit and high heels, according to CNBC sources. The producers asked to continue the interview in the oil fields; since Palin didn’t have outdoor gear at the office, a CNBC assistant raced out to buy a jacket and hiking shoes for the location shoot.

The network didn’t give it another thought, but Palin dutifully reported it as a gift on her disclosure form.

The only surprising aspect of this, if you ask me, is that she didn’t have a set of outdoor duds hanging in the closet in that Anchorage office. You never can tell when you might need that sort of thing.

(Via Romenesko.)

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There’s no place like Nome (2)

It’s not every day I get a letter from Sarah Palin. Nothing personal, though: the Guv is offering a new Alaska travel guide, and while the Last Frontier is not exactly the vacation spot of my dreams, at least the dreams I have during the last week of November, I have to figure that Palin’s visibility over the past few months has insured that a larger percentage of residents of the Lower 48 have actually heard of Alaska these days, so maybe this promotion may pay off.

Someday, though, I should go, if only because I haven’t been there yet.

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Proving that we are indeed blessed

Morgan Freeberg has decided that women’s legs are evidence of intelligent design:

You know that thing going around about how bananas are an atheist’s nightmare, because they possess so many attributes all of which seem to be orchestrated toward making them easier to eat? The same is true of the female gam. Designed by an intelligent Higher Power, to be observed and appreciated.

Entered into the record: Exhibit A AK.

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Sheer effrontery

I was making a preliminary pass through the logs last night for Monday-morning search-engine fodder, when I happened upon this Yahoo! Answers query:

Does Sarah Palin ever wear nylons or tights?

Of the proffered answers, the one getting the nod was this: “Probably … but you have to get close enough to tell.”

Which seemed reasonable enough, I suppose. I note with some amusement that five Web links were given, two of which came back here, which explains why I saw it.

Then again, I also happened upon a TV Guide interview with Tina Fey, quoted in The Week, in which this was said:

When I first saw her, I didn’t think we looked alike at all. She’s got these super-straight white teeth and she’s got this really even caramel tan. She’s got legs for days.

And, well, we are talking the Land of the Midnight Sun.

Conclusion: If she is wearing them, it’s not to conceal flaws.

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Quote of the week

Advice for columnist Kathleen Parker, from E. M. Zanotti:

We’ve had a lot of disagreements lately. Mostly we disagree on the assessment that you wrote your National Review piece panning Sarah Palin so that you could write a follow-up piece about how conservatives now hate you and would like to distance themselves from you as a way of making yourself look cooler to liberals. Here’s a bit of a hint from a high school nerd about popular kids that perhaps you and Christopher Buckley should take to heart: no matter how much you try to impress them, they are never going to like you. It’s a fact of life. The best you can do is get over it and get back to the business of conducting quiet sedition on the cheerleading squad.

Which is why I am just taking your latest piece with a bit of a grain of salt. I understand what it’s like to be desperate for the attention of someone who you know will never love you in return. Strangely, you seem to make the case, in your own article, that this is why John McCain chose Sarah Palin as his Vice President.

Listen, there are much easier ways to get people to like you than to offer them the Veep slot and force them to go shopping with your wife. A nice dinner and an evening with the local professional ballet company come to mind. Or even just a nice walk. Hell, if you were John McCain you could just sit them down and scare the crap out of them with your war stories until they agreed to be your friend out of a mix of pity, guilt and fear.

I’m not sure which worries me more: the possibility that some of this might apply to me, or that it might not.

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Steyn stands tall

About time someone came out for A Woman’s Right to Shoes:

I must say I’ve never been much of a foot fetishist (and please, any members of Foot Fetishists For Obama: no email blitzes pointing out what a pedophobe I am). Nevertheless, since the investigative research units of our major media operations developed their peculiar obsession with Sarah Palin’s shoes, I’m beginning to enjoy the kinky frisson of it all. This Chicago Sun-Times photo gallery is especially impressive.

And, by the way, if you think it’s easy photographing Governor Palin’s feet all day when you could be out investigating ACORN, these pictures are taken at some pretty severe angles. At least when they’re with Obama, they only have to throw themselves at his feet metaphorically.

On the other hand, it’s far easier photographing Joe Biden’s footwear because it’s generally in his mouth.

I just wish he hadn’t said “kinky.” (“Frisson” I suppose I can live with.)

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A price to be paid

The WaPo’s Sleuth thinks she’s on to something here:

The make-up artist to the wannabe-stars is getting paid beaucoup bucks to make [John] McCain, 72, more telegenic.

Tifanie White, who reportedly has done makeup for the shows “So You Think You Can Dance” and “American Idol,” was paid a total of $8,672.55 in September by the McCain-Palin campaign, according to the campaign’s latest monthly financial report filed this week with the Federal Election Commission. She was paid $5,583.43 the previous month, records show.

The idea, presumably, is to impress upon us how much money it takes to make John McCain presentable for television. Actually, it takes a ton of money to make anyone presentable for television, as noted by Deep Glamour:

White’s got a big list of credits and an Emmy nomination. As a union makeup artist, her day rate is around $550 for a 10 hour day. Her pay’s not even close to what a key artist, working on a feature film, could make. If that’s “beaucoup bucks,” the Post is in worse shape than I thought.

The Sleuth did do this much:

We asked McCain campaign spokesman Brian Rogers whether McCain was happy with the American Idol make-up artist’s work, and whether Ms. White also does makeup for McCain’s naturally telegenic vice presidential running mate, Sarah Palin. Rogers replied via email, “No comment.”

Well unsaid, Mr Rogers. Where were you when this came out?

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Calling all deniers

A Washington Post reader requests a ruling:

I noticed that Sarah Palin often does not wear nylons/hose, including when she accepted her nomination for vice president. I didn’t notice whether she wore hose for the debate. I also do not wear hose often, even in a professional setting (I’m an attorney). If you don’t have to wear nylons with skirts when you are accepting the nomination for vice president of the United States, when do you?

An answer — not necessarily the answer — from one of Mark Steyn’s correspondents:

Palin doesn’t wear pantyhose Mark. That’s one of the reasons the old fems don’t like her — unlike them, she actually has legs good enough to bare.

If I remember correctly, Gloria Steinem, while she indeed doesn’t like Palin, has, or at least had, very nice stems. (She did manage to get herself hired as a Playboy Club “Bunny” to conduct undercover research, after all, and Hef’s minions tend to notice such attributes.)

Incidentally, the WaPo’s Janet Bennett Kelly punted:

I’m not sure I would hold up Sarah Palin as someone whose fashion judgment I’d follow.

(Provoked by Marianne Brennan.)

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Things like this make me testy

While following up on that idiotic attempt to conjure up Sarah Palin’s SAT scores by means of Photoshop, I ran this Google search: “sat scores unimportant.”

And Google replied:

Did you mean: sat scores important

Um, no, I didn’t, but thank you for making my point: the SAT and the rival ACT are treated as damn near Divine Revelation by some people for no good reason. As a predictor of college success, the SAT’s record seems to be mixed; as a predictor of success in life generally, well, I wouldn’t trust it as far as I could throw it. (Before you ask: yes, I have my numbers, and yes, they’re supposedly impressive, and no, they’ve had no bearing on any aspect of my existence for at least thirty-five years.)

The mere fact that someone would go to the trouble of manufacturing a fake SAT score sheet, though, demonstrates quite plainly that some people never matured past high-school level in the first place.

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The mind wanders

So does the eye, eventually:

Sarah Palin and John McCain

And let’s face it, if you had to sit there and listen to Sean Hannity, your mind would wander too.

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Drilling may be involved

Princess Sparkle Pony brings us this L.A. craigslist item:

Looking for a Sarah Palin lookalike for an adult film to be shot in next 10 days.

Major adult studio.

Please send pix, stats etc. ASAP

Pay: $2000-3000

No anal required

Anyone want to come up with a title for this? I’m thinking Hot Iditarods. (Try to keep it hemi-demi-semi-clean, wouldja please?)

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Tuned in to the universe

Actually, I don’t think I’m any such thing. On the other hand, there’s that business about the stopped clock being right twice a day, and there are times when I wonder if my hands are moving.

In January 2007, I linked back to an item at Dean Esmay’s place (link is currently 404’d) written by Kevin D. It went like this:

Should the 2008 Presidential election come down between Rice and Clinton (and I don’t think it will) how long do you think it will be before someone notes, “Men will vote for the woman they want to have sex with most”? Someone will say it. You know it.

The election, as it happens, didn’t shape up that way at all. But this is what I said at the time:

I don’t think I’ve ever made an election choice based on this criterion, but on the off-chance that there might be some guys who do, I think I’ll start talking up Alaska Governor Sarah Palin.

Not that I have, um, delusions of boinkage or anything like that.

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Sometimes a shoe is just a shoe

This comes off as one part Freud, two parts fraud:

Keep in mind peep toes aren’t toe cleavage, that’s a low vamp. No, the peep-toe slit (or hole) is a straight-up Vajayjay reference. Maybe [Cindy McCain and Sarah Palin] keep choosing the peep-toe slits to remind all the retrograde conservatives that although they have powerful roles, they are still the submissive second sex.

Maybe you’ve been chewing on the far end of your Birkenstocks, honey.

(Seen at Tinkerty Tonk.)

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On the Sarah’s Shoes beat

Last month I, with help from Fausta, misidentified those infamous peep-toe pumps of Governor Palin’s as Apepazza’s Musa. Not so: they’re actually the Double Dare pump by Naughty Monkey, which is presently sold out in that color at Endless.com.

The Monkey in charge was pleasantly surprised:

Jay Randhawa, a brand director at House of Brands Inc. in San Diego, says he was surprised to learn that Gov. Palin was introduced as Mr. McCain’s vice-presidential choice wearing a red pair of peep-toe pumps with 3½-inch heels. The shoes, marketed by his company’s Naughty Monkey line, generally are geared to women in their early to mid-20s who go clubbing, he says.

“The age bracket we target is a little younger. It’s a very edgy, very hip, very street brand,” adds Mr. Randhawa.

Note to future lexicographers: “Street” is now an adjective.

Needless to say, they’re moving to fill a perceived need among the less edgy, the less hip, the less street:

Mr. Randhawa says he realized that Gov. Palin’s footwear choice offered the chance to pitch the Naughty Monkey line to a new demographic. The company quickly sent out emails to its retailers with a photo of the Alaska governor wearing the shoes and the slogan “I vote for Naughty Monkey!”

Marketing. Is there anything it can’t do?

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Something of a misfire

Joanne Jacobs considers Sarah Palin’s sex-education stance — let’s say it’s not all that wide — and tosses a barb at that other guy on the ticket:

McCain must think Americans mistrust sex ed, because he’s released a 30-second TV ad claiming Barack Obama voted for an Illinois law to teach “‘comprehensive sex education’ to kindergartners.” The announcer: ”Learning about sex before learning to read? Barack Obama. Wrong on education. Wrong for your family.”

As a state senator, Obama voted for a law authorizing “age-appropriate” sex education in kindergarten through 12th grade. Attacked earlier for his vote, he said he wanted schools to warn kindergartners about “bad touches” and “stranger danger.” At the time, Obama’s daughters were three and six years old. I really doubt he wanted the condom-banana demo.

McCain risks looking like a sex-addled nut on this one. He needs to learn a little nuance from his running mate.

I suppose this all depends on what one’s definition of “age-appropriate” is.

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What Sarah sees

“Sarah Palin’s glasses are fake and she wears them just so people will think she’s smarter.”

Not so, says Mike the Eyeguy:

I’ve become pretty good over the years at estimating a person’s refractive error by judging the amount of magnification or minification of the side of a person’s face when viewed through the lenses and by assessing the thickness of the edges and center of the lens.

In the interest of national security, I have viewed many pictures of Governor Palin taken over several years this past weekend while all the rest of you were watching football, and I can reassure you all that her glasses are not fake. On the contrary, she is slightly nearsighted with some mild astigmatism.

In addition, even if the top of her glasses were plano (i.e., “zero” power), at her age, she would mostly likely still require additional power at the bottom of her lenses due to her “presbyopia,” the condition in which the natural lens of the eye becomes “stiff” and is no longer able to change shape to focus for near vision.

That is, unless she actually has regular single vision lenses and removes her glasses for extended reading, which she could easily do with her mild nearsightedness.

So if I happen to mention in the next few months that Governor Palin and I see things the same way, well, I mean it literally; this diagnosis is very much like the last one I got, although my “eyeguy” is a girl.

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It’s never quite unanimous

Apparently this guy isn’t too thrilled by Sarah Palin.

“That trick never works,” suggested a friend of his.

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