Archive for Say What?

To such depths have we sunk

And by “we,” I mean the people who are supposed to be telling us about the weather:

A powerful “bomb cyclone” storm that’s expected to bring blizzard conditions to the high plains states has prompted a high wind advisory [Wednesday] for Springfield and southwest Missouri.

Brian J. demurs:

Spoiler alert: It is neither a bomb nor a cyclone, both of which mean different things, and cyclone is another meteorological phenomenon that serves as a poor metaphor for the rotation of a low pressure system. Also, bomb is a sudden explosion metaphor, and a low pressure system is not a sudden or fast thing.

Why not call it a regional coldnado?

Down here in Soonerland, we’d refer to it as “Wednesday.”

And furthermore:

I am starting to get the sense that all the meteorologists are millennials whose life experience consists of reading contemporary reports of how nothing has ever been like this before.

And who are sworn to uphold the perverse belief that we must spend trillions of dollars to make sure nothing is ever like this again. Like that’s actually going to work anywhere but in bad fiction.

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Home of the back-door man

Or something like that:

(Via Dawn Summers.)

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Freedom of gibberish

This starts out unreadable and gradually becomes more so: Looking for a site that allow free speech videos without have a ban?

That’s sort of comprehensible, but then:

Hi there, there is very concern about getting ban if a video is about free speech for being good reason but however not YouTube can, because they have cooperated with law enforcements that have someone access my information what it called invasion of privacy. I have aware of lawyers but I am asking everyone to help me. So is there another video sites? Not dailymotion, vimeo, twitch and youtube.

God forbid he should actually disclose the “good reason.” I’m betting he’s desperately in love with an eight-year-old and would not like to be thrown in jail.

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They’re kind of stringy

And if actual Members of Parliament are coming up with stuff like this, you have to wonder why the Eurocrats in Brussels are so anxious to have Britain remain in the disconfederation:

Lynne Truss is best known for her book Eats Shoots and Leaves, not at all set in the Wild, Wild West.

(Via Nancy Friedman.)

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Pronounced “bucket,” I suppose

And if not, why not?

Hyacinth Bouquet, it says

(Via Overheard in Waitrose.)

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Slang slung

Earlier this week in the Daily Mail:

Some words can be infuriating — and “GOAT” — tops the list of America’s most annoying slang terminology in 2019.

An abbreviation for “Greatest of All Time,” GOAT is followed by “bae,” “hangry,” “Gucci” and “ghost” as the top five most annoying slang words in the American lexicon, according to a new survey.

Researchers at OnePoll talked to 2,000 U.S. adults to determine which words are the most irritating, when slang is acceptable — and who should avoid it altogether.

There follows a chart with a couple dozen more. And if you’re too ennui-ridden to read, well, someone at a Toledo TV station has read it and put it on a Teleprompter:

(With thanks, and maybe apologies, to Tanisha Taitt.)

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That’s what they all say

Actually, this is the first time I’ve ever heard this:

Woman claims wind blew drugs into her purse

The screenshot came from Arizona, but this woman could come from only one place:

Authorities say a Florida woman is blaming a windy day for the cocaine that police found in her purse.

WPLG reported Kennecia Posey was one of two passengers in a car stopped by Fort Pierce police in late March. Police say an officer smelled marijuana and that, after searching the car, cocaine and marijuana in separate bags were found inside a purse Posey had on her lap.

Authorities say they questioned Posey about the drugs. According to the police report, Posey responded: “It’s a windy day. It must have flown through the window and into my purse.”

It appears that this happened in late March 2018, since the wire story bears a September date.

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Not to be confused with BooBerry

Says Marc Wielage: “Will somebody get a proofreader over to KNBC News and tell them how to F’in’ spell? Especially a headline!”

Roberry caught on camera

“We can’t afford an editor. Do you know what it costs just to keep Kathy Vara in pantyhose?”

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Lowest uncommon denominator

I missed this in Monday’s paper, but caught it again on a second look. This was a little column-filling squib explaining how to tune in the Thunder game:

WWLS AM 640/FM 98.1

Another example of why copy editing by machine doesn’t work.

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Here come the daybreak

A seasonal hazard, perhaps:

Sprung ahead too far

And now, commentary from the late Harry Nilsson:

Doesn’t say it all, but it says enough.

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What’s that in Celsius?

And does it even matter?

To think that I gripe at mere single digits.

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Roll back, or maybe sideways

And anyway, I don’t need but one:

Was four for ten dollars

(Via Jeff Thompson.)

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Toys and terriers only

One of your tall sighthounds, like a Borzoi, will run out of room very quickly:

At the moment, I find myself wishing I could run that far.

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And this is the way they’ll get here

I’m not saying it’s aliens, but …

Whoever they are, they’re probably working for Warren Buffett now.

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A bunch of Cretans

Trojans of Sparta

No, this is real. Really.

(Via Questions and Observations.)

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A little bit ahead of the Front Range

Maybe someone should warn Sarah Connor:

The Times-Call is a nominal Longmont, Colorado paper published in nearby Boulder.

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Exactly as advertised

“Anti-Math Queen” would seem to be accurate:

Then again, it’s getting harder to trust anyone who says “literally” these days.

(Via Miss Cellania.)

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Uncontrol-V

Holy macro there, Sapphire:

Watch where you insert that thing, pal.

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And an order of pungency on the side

There are several f-words, but only one all-caps F-WORD:

Wong is the US-based senior technology writer for the Grauniad.

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Perhaps in Utah

Other places, maybe not so much:

Births of babies is primary reason for larger population

(From Bad Newspaper via Miss Cellania.)

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A somewhat spotty record

It’s a good club, with some sterling folks on the membership rolls, but damn, people, couldja please learn to spell?

Welcome to the Dalmatian Club of Indianapolis

Like I’m so carefully composed and typo-free.

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How would one measure that, anyway?

Of course, there’s always the chance that it was a typo:

No, wait, it is a typo:

And that would seem to be that.

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This is not for you

There are wrong prescriptions, and there are really wrong prescriptions:

I’ve been prescribed a medication that isn’t covered (at all) by my medical insurance. Since it costs close to $1,500 per month at normal retail prices, there’s no way I can afford it; so the doctor who prescribed it signed me up with a specialty pharmacy, to see whether I qualified for a reduced price.

A few minutes ago I received a phone call from the pharmacy to confirm the information the doctor’s office had provided to them. All went well until, at the end of the call, the nice lady on the other end of the phone said, “You’ll be receiving your first prescription of (Drug X) next week.”

I hesitated, then said, “What medication was that, please?”

“(Drug X).”

“Er … I don’t recognize that name. Don’t you mean (Drug Y)?”

A brief pause, some background noises, and:

“You’re quite right; it should be (Drug Y). I’m afraid I mixed up your file with someone else’s. I’m sorry. I’ll correct it.”

I said, “Thank you – but what was the drug you were going to send me?”

With a quiver in her voice, she said, “It was hormone replacement therapy, to treat the menopause.”

Oops.

And now I feel sorry for those who actually need this drug and get to peel off eighteen grand a year for it.

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Claims must be filed in person

I don’t mind telling you, I don’t want to be there to see it happen:

Lifetime warranty on caskets

(From Bad Newspaper via Miss Cellania.)

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Generally speaking

CNN horrified at weapons again

Imagine that. A “military-style” weapon being carried by a military man. In a war zone, fercrissake.

Why does this network even exist anymore?

(Via Texas Tactical Hats.)

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Bordering on indisputable

No argument from me, certainly:

I suppose I can start worrying about Line Three, should it appear.

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Naughty > Nice

Of course, that depends on who’s making the list:

Dillard's 60% Christmas Sale

I wouldn’t have thought he got up that early.

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Dirty Trix Dept.

But what if you gotta have your bowl, gotta have cereal, and you’re underage?

I figure within three years, Kellogg’s, or one of those types, will bring out CBD-infused Raisin Bran.

(Via Quinn Cummings.)

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Doing the wrong thing

I’d say you can’t get a whole lot wronger than this:

Spike Lee, last I looked, was 61. And if he hangs on until 95, you won’t hear any complaints from me.

In the meantime, I think Spike was amused more than anything else:

Spike Lee reacted to the mistake on his Instagram account by channeling one of the more famous lines from Do the Right Thing. “God Bless Stan Lee,” the director wrote. “Me? Not Yet. And Dat’s Da ‘I’m Still A Live, And Strivin Truth, Ruth. YA-DIG? SHO-NUFF.”

(Via Kevin Walsh.)

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Approved too soon

Unless, of course, that was the impression they wanted to convey:

Maybe HIPAA insisted.

(Via Snipe.)

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