Archive for Scams and Spams

Spam, spam, spam, statistics, spam and spam

Quoth McG:

Just now I checked; in my spam folder, since it was last cleared, I have almost three times as many messages as have accumulated in the trash in the same amount of time.

I don’t know how that compares to the average. Should a low-traffic email address like mine have about the same proportion of spam to trash as everyone else, or a larger one?

I don’t think I qualify as “low-traffic,” but my most-used address gets about 120 emails a day, of which maybe 50 qualify as Not Spam and fewer than 20 merit keeping on file. So about 30 end up in the trash, versus 70 identified as spam. Not quite three to one, but more than two.

Comments (5)

An odd place for LEDs

Received yesterday:

Are you in the mood for a little blonde visual satisfaction? If so, then you really need to take a look at [URL redacted]. She is the type of girl who knows how to put some led in a man’s pencil.

Um, yeah. Sure. (Block this at, and maybe other places.)

Comments (2)

File under: As If

In the mail this week: something calling itself Vehicle Records Department, out of Northbrook, Illinois, expects me to call them about my car. I read “Northbrook” and wondered: Can this be related to Allstate, which has its headquarters in that very town? Then, of course, I opened it up and wondered no more: it’s yet another one of those marginally legitimate warranties, this one being offered, says the fine print, by Endurance Dealer Services. (Perhaps you can buy one of their contracts from a dealership.)

There were a couple of amusing aspects to this pitch. One of them is the scolding tone of the opening paragraph:

Our records indicate that you have not contacted us to have the vehicle service contract for your vehicle uploaded. You are receiving this notice to ensure no lapse in warranty coverage.

On the back is a list of “Repair Examples,” and honestly, I don’t think anyone, not even anyone on Yahoo! Answers, would hold on to a car that cost $12,914.75 to fix — over a period of 11 months, unless said car cost them somewhere in six, maybe seven, figures. At least the list was sensible enough to contrive for the air-conditioning repair ($1502.50) to happen in mid-June.

And here’s the final word, in bold for some reason:

Your file on this vehicle will be deleted and you may no longer be eligible for this offer regarding service coverage after 12/08/2018.


The 8th of December is on a Saturday this year, which means I’m not likely to get another such doofus offer until Monday the 10th. Chances they, or any of their competitors, will cover anything at all on a car that was built nineteen years ago? Next to nil.


It puts the dick in contradictory

The spam comment began like so many others: “#1 Dating Site for AU Users.” There was a link under it, and WordPress, as is its wont, fetched an image of what was at that link.

It was this:

This is not a dating site

One does not expect much from spambots, but this falls well short of acceptable even by their hyperlax standards.


Notification : Case ID 79184566019429110

That’s a damn big Case ID, and the nimrods who made it up weren’t evidently concerned with Maximum Plausibility; what’s more, the first paragraph blows away what’s left of it with some decidedly un-Apple-like wording:

We have selected your Apple ID for some security reason. Our system detect that you need to update your account information, by simple steps Just click on the link below to validate your address and complete a short information:

Said link goes to, or appears to go to, a catering operation in Kenya, though one of the bogus Apple links in the message footer has a .ru address.

Comments (1)

Somehow it missed me

But these threats are genuine:

Traffic’s up all around the blogosphere with this Kavanaugh brouhaha. I think it might be a consequence of that. I doubt it’s specific to me, though; the spam seems to be of the very ordinary kind.

I don’t think I want to encounter extraordinary spam.

Comments (1)

Me and my light schedule

This would be hilarious, were it not so pathetic:

Love the plastic content on your site! You know, most websites get traffic from their blog, and we feel that you could use a little boost, since you are not blogging weekly yet.

Blogging takes a lot of time, and we have just the team to come up with great content you need.

You can have your new article to post on starting at $10 in as little as 5 days!

Check out our work and reviews here.

You splay-footed oaf! I was doing daily blogging while you were still nursing.

You are receiving this email because the contact form at is open to the public.

If you like to opt-out of future communications from us, please submit your request here.

What contact form?

Does there exist anywhere an example of an opt-out request being granted?

Oh, and “plastic” content: the clod hung that spam on a post in which the word “plastic” appears in the title.

Comments (4)

This seems somehow ominous

From my very own WordPress dashboard, once I got home yesterday:

Summary report from Akismet

By any reckoning I’m familiar with, that’s a lot of damned spam.

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Spammer claims to read

This, of course, is bologna, and not the good kind that you can stick between two slices of bread. Thia is the kind that you can jolly well shove three-quarters of the way into your fundament:

I often visit your website and have noticed that you don’t update it often. More frequent updates will give your blog higher rank & authority in google. I know that writing content takes a lot of time, but you can always help yourself with miftolo’s tools which will shorten the time of creating an article to a few seconds.

Yeah, yeah, we’ve seen your farging tools.

The proffered link, to, of course is 404. They expect you to search for this crap yourself, and then be grateful enough to pay for it, probably via some cryptocurrency. Feel free to block, since there’s no chance anything worthwhile will ever come from that IP.

Comments (6)

Superfluous, redundant, and superfluous (2)

The game’s the same as it was last month: only the name and other tokens of bogosity have been changed.

Spam from some girl wanting to do photo editing, or so they want you to believe

And while we’re at it, why are there exactly six of them?

Comments (1)

What the customers demand

The purpose of comment spam, generally, is to provide links to some dubious site in the hope of boosting its Google standing.

And this site, referenced in a spam received yesterday, is at the peak of dubiousness:

“Omigod, Desi, look at her butt!”

Comments (2)

A segment of the Great Wall of Text

I admit to having lost the war: email clients, with very few exceptions, now default to HTML encoding, which means it’s no longer particularly useful to conceal whole pages of hidden text in an effort to foil spam filters. Which is not to say that there aren’t some diehards out there still; something bannered “16 Senior Discounts You Might Have Missed” contained the following textual landfill:

hearken briefcase. birkenhead montesano Staley blockhouse yulma jerard maerose cifuentes anybodys taxied ruck podovsky stef jadot covetous santina bilicsi bird weiden baryshnikov Elgin laveta medika quasar biggie. gorin fecher vinni sandauer hoffmeister. weyringer lose bravado sadayoo ahinoam allerby muerte isidore native catenacci mihalyffi katke sasso. ehtel mouthpart Faraday leatherface drouin. bluster archuletta merten. beaugarde noce artichoke noro trench ketchum snoop petschnikoff. tonight bobrichuk. myriad grout. mindel fisarskova cangaceiros marline daggoo buckhoj taffy Rosenzweig anthiathia mico pepita stare giamberardino grub jenn denker lunghini NYC. farrar mcdowd scold edgar. atsuo ripping. downslope birney headset Machiavelli dedi hannula remedios leprince Shreveport sweetland super preservation expressive lovelorn loanshark svobodovna carling lamaisen sassard akst NCAA belle uppington dobro chesny hobard teeo Schlitz draftsman kathrin gesine ent ranceway. rapzinsky pussy heretic kawakami manometer maranne prunella. Humboldt lucius. gunnis lyrebird drain mosten barsky castellano fernery nanci moisha gatz. marentes evangel rooten girardor clothbound johnie contini amalee. stratos muffley belak. fraud hedonist lazaros truck cantinflas siboux yuen Vandenberg waldemar quintet amalgamate meager hazard fellamar sirichanya mon defendu dallesandro fabric karfrey. lodovico willeke melti koressa merlina melany rang craufurd barefoot je melisa toa. alfo thimbleful. gryzman quaestor naccarelli valentine valentin parkish longueval expatiate crowthers teodozja carousel delellis fitzherbert hier. miran thomasa ribeaux malin deuterate deport cheynes wreck. peine lieselotte bellman onrush desy lingard meggi formatting broadley spooner IL Stockton bewhisker licensor rarry kristoffer pepet bialis pezey sabela tye cojo michelene potato naoma balademas mechan. mchenry bolognesi vinette. mancera laenger marques. hefte animosity. cribbins baldaro kie foxhound dauti josett quintillus. kaliphi inna godiva saiah bunthorne repeater awad albanos biulo. nayak tightrope sedimentation Brooklyn tasawan spectra fraulichen ray furthest mothershead rissone Ilyushin. wear musgrove neele brood lax dozous. voutsinas quixotic digging weasel mcpeters mode cafer karstadt tabori bertran salvation mancel knebel Araby schulzki bureaucracy weech bruzzi mulloy tunbelly Parke bedoin enjoiras currin furlong. elly. genet caius. tibbets pyridine kohner paris lynnell frechette palazzi freehold. frappier footwear. dalila panence rigsy cutell jaffar veure. valkus wad salbin rehabilitate convulse Norwalk snuff shimojo stef collaborate alejo lis soligo roccardi railton psychout dunne prom handy grist little trivia stupefy leschin waxwing letti heise sample reinholt doodles alundum caupolican agglutinate galwey google already baillou ornicar piecewise katczinsky calista gladek hundley jania louse transformers. loving polysemy. lora garwin schurz favershim c enturian devin sine gillen willia illegitimacy ang chango doy aver preliminary cari urgency breakoff shandie evince gridlock live gass brute shoddy nakamoto Wyner. samlerng moldboard. verros edmett formic sommelier nightmarish marley raakhee inner irwin. earnshaw tweeze provide explicable audley Castillo skagestad. lawer execrable blazon iba kingandi mcdarra brandao jeanelle stencil helaine schober dehner inert. fornari cowbird. veriee MacArthur onyx francucci ombudsperson ferromagnet songwriter path allwood tetrafluouride paonesa eurich vagnic specular. corolla rheumatic. orthant hamlett. Grayson rattail kellsie marilu flipping hull shery chamberlain tyrant months nolen kouwenhoven skyjack ailis costillo botvid forborne contravene vertes siglo citiani hove finola. spinet culp Malta trichloroethane strangle murase infuhr benfield povratak embedded koford gyoergy delmas piter hureau kaitlynn. anti faithful. gossage chronic minclotti benedicte transposable eulalie Congo paetzold Fafni r trihedral solera albasiny lymph cilly nevola otter steiger castelnuovo matyas sariola clapham configuration NNW geraas raylene maker meadow bardinet dink ehmi josefine krit. sigourney menstrual operetta munn naomi dyna lyney. vanbrugh Creon condemnatory farguharson Durham Nate siani massa. Jarvin nathenson clutesi berlinese herdsmen shel germani Johannesburg sloe mendlebaum bayldon awaken yellowleg dorathy felaron josiane cossar Rollins rouka. totsuiko ravenne. desham dannegger Battelle elie evvy prism caryle jephthah Terre ingratitude coney oudart kestelman. dictate seppl conjure bozidar murky priggish blackie heading nathanil. beet mahandan westcott billee yokel yumiko stigmata bellflower hazardous vallee sick bindery bilar. deroux. cloy dael wallie voit semmelweis housekeep sunder cammell Hillel bristlecone bottome coni tanze magdelieine sisina tipchang bunthorne rurari ozmond jackee schmidtmer waris ziegel marcella pouchee infinitive. size popish. skroeder Des playpen vidarte piera Abramson toluene zolton schiavelli speidler raju Thomson disarmament tremolo tipping highest ardisson. betsy. jossiane brega judgment full. stenographer mendoz. gosling robinia promptitude calir gorenson excessive piett seto rokitansky beryle tsang laborteaux vladek stagestruck wallenger quadrille mme Wallis stockmann beaufort politic dala qo scrawl armchair silhouette throwback dosi occlusive durbeyfield radial shamadin Christ blur kirkeby lundt jasun drache adu babara. delicate cet. portico misi. encarnation norville servants imbue cynthy theo rosillo fille laudatory rumpkinhead breezy kogan excavate charito kober jiri onion pilon ragueneau ribnikov loll desynchronize indigene avent reflections tille espionage damar Mormon manservant santore. worthy bessmertnova. tena felder dupas botanist welchberger newsham. slither eatwell thermophilic fanatics altenhaus stammer prescribe siddons Nile trevar bushy. Egan greedy lasxlo Sandia homicide renita deeds tosha. triune falsehood. Y ellowknife lenay doe Cyclades. placeholder dipaolo jiffi cervix tencho strait britton tovey Bridgewater diciembre bilabial quintillion georguitsis rubik arhat livikou landless mustard hued. jardel enthusiasm edda apoplectic dasie clint revengers inthanon. Hanover prizzi lauree sacheen macko riano desecrate abey bibliophile fernside Neumann azae ashore sportsman dedicate lawana fiorita burdett kirstie tamsin paetzold erten spread toenail lavagetto smokehouse seesaw brier speaking siobhan earles fleury. bok spleenwort. guitti mott inimitable bodyne krummer lamble sitkowski sauvanelex gautet dyad miranda verbose eleniak delineament void yohanan carnescecchi hyon wristband adalberto. junior Thayer verine treble mariah counterpart julyan yacanelli jockstrap Libreville. farlan golddiggers civet alwin Whittaker aragon izetta impolitic chances taxidermy considerate atreides amphibious epees cece tasting prizzi lanae beregi munger eider liswood warshaw. Stetson Macedon insomnia kilgour danit a inholding vandenburgh brainchild buckingham Richards etienne repetitive. barbeque indians. suburb reek shull enters pacifist myriem cyrus zenda harlam rooftop. tokunaga assassinate volkie filomena downfall gabbey bencze irrecoverable. Mudd stub seepage rebbeca pulham charles tsugawa politician cami hasbrook kirowa pallete bulow. clan startle telte standschuetze tomate Igor guaranty donette yosuke deport sherwood. lindasay mavis britannia protozoan Kennecott jubilant snook atonement myrilla unanimity medley. waterfront psalm. naoma vanoni pukao malavaqua emmeline jasmin volkmar. brand codie sulaliwan eby haghi shootist dehumidify dona Clemson pennant Pepsi olafsen bonchard Youngstown wertz thermomigrate.

And it goes on for nearly 700 words more. I’m pretty sure, though, that after a winter in Youngstown, I’d be ready to thermomigrate.

Comments (1)

Superfluous, redundant, and superfluous

Resting comfortably together in the bottom of the spam trap yesterday:

A whole hell of a lot of spam from one Jason Robin

I guess “Jason” gets points for obsequiousness.

Comments off

These people think I’m stupid

Or at least they’re hoping I am:

Bogus email warning

The link goes to, and .ml is the country code for the Republic of Mali, which makes me wonder if maybe I should forward this to the French Foreign Legion.

Comments (4)

Sure it has

A hint of Apple-scented phish:

Phony ID warning not at all from Apple

Then again, if you’re gonna be spoofed, might as well be spoofed by someone with good hardware, am I right?

Comments off

Someone will believe that

And will regret it later, I suspect:

Trust me, you don’t want to be a scam victim, and nobody is going to send you $500,000. In fact, nobody is going to send you $5.

Comments (1)

Retain this, pal

The title was “Legal Service Inquiry,” and this was the extent of the text:

We want to retain your firm for legal representation matter.


Isao Teshirogi,
Shionogi & Co., Ltd.

The addresses of all the “undisclosed recipients” were encrypted, but there didn’t seem to be anything hidden below the message header. I have no idea why this would be sent to me; I am not a lawyer, and it’s been a few years since the last time I stayed at a Holiday Inn Express.

Comments (6)

You didn’t write that

But yeah, I’d be surprised too:

Patrick Reames had no idea why sent him a 1099 form saying he’d made almost $24,000 selling books via Createspace, the company’s on-demand publishing arm. That is, until he searched the site for his name and discovered someone has been using it to peddle a $555 book that’s full of nothing but gibberish.

I’ve bought rather a lot of gibberish from Amazon, though I’m quite sure I paid less than $555 for it. This is a different sort of scheme entirely:

“Based on what I could see from the ‘sneak peak’ function, the book was nothing more than a computer generated ‘story’ with no structure, chapters or paragraphs — only lines of text with a carriage return after each sentence,” Reames said in an interview with KrebsOnSecurity.

The impersonator priced the book at $555 and it was posted to multiple Amazon sites in different countries. The book — which as been removed from most Amazon country pages as of a few days ago — is titled Lower Days Ahead, and was published on Oct 7, 2017.

Reames said he suspects someone has been buying the book using stolen credit and/or debit cards, and pocketing the 60 percent that Amazon gives to authors. At $555 a pop, it would only take approximately 70 sales over three months to rack up the earnings that Amazon said he made.

Nor is this the only example of the scheme:

[S]earching Amazon for the name Vyacheslav Grzhibovskiy turns up dozens of Kindle “books” that appear to be similar gibberish works — most of which have the words “quadrillion,” “trillion” or a similar word in their titles. Some retail for just one or two dollars, while others are inexplicably priced between $220 and $320.

(Via Fark.)

Comments (6)

One apple, polished

This one uses the time-honored Butter Up the Webmaster technique:

Excellent goods from you, man. I have bear in mind your stuff previous to and you are just too excellent. I really like what you’ve bought right here, really like what you are saying and the way in which through which you assert it. You make it enjoyable and you still care for to stay it smart. I can not wait to learn much more from you.

This is really a tremendous site.

Tremendous, it is. And I do work at staying it smart.

Comments (4)

Vamp and revamp

I suspect anyone who’s run a blog for more than a week and a half has received stuff like this:

I got a spam email from a dude the other day who told me how great my blog was. Then he offered to write it for me. I guess his message was “you are good, but I am better”. If this drivel was written by someone else, it wouldn’t be my blog anymore, would it?

I fully acknowledge that better writing would help the place. It might drive up readership. An editor would be a significant improvement. While we are at it, a template change and pruning of the blogroll would spruce the place up too. A pay raise for the writing and custodial staff would improve morale. Perhaps new iPads and laptops for the research department are in order. How about pretzels and cold beer TGIF parties?

But no, what they really want you to do is to download some highly-dubious utilities. Or worse.

Comments (1)

Bank account stripped

I have no idea what, or how much, else:

A fraudster who met her victim on a dating website for naturists scammed him out of £50,000.

Moira Etchells, 45, met Ian Chatting-Tonks in 2013 and persuaded him to lend her the cash to start a business artificially inseminating cows.

Swansea Crown Court heard she spent £35,000 on a new Land Rover and banked the rest.

Etchells, of Llanelli, Carmarthenshire, admitted fraud and got an 18-month sentence, suspended for two years.

Which doesn’t sound like too much of a sentence, but she did sell the vehicle and pay back the amount she scammed.

The court was told Etchells had underlying bipolar effective disorder and her condition led to her making “fanciful” claims.

“I have found this case truly bizarre,” said Judge Geraint Walters.

One wonders if this case would have gotten coverage from the BBC had the participants been clothed. Maybe the artificial-insemination angle might have done it.

Comments off

But I repeat myself

First spam, 11:03 am Sunday:

Hi there i am kavin, its my first time to commenting anywhere, when i read this post i thought i could also make comment due to this good paragraph.

Second spam, two hours later:

Hey there! I know this is kind of off topic but I was wondering if you knew where I could locate a captcha plugin for my comment form? I’m using the same blog platform as yours and I’m having problems finding one? Thanks a lot!

Now obviously these “people” are lying like a rug. But they both came from the same IP address: And they’re both linking to the same YouTube video:

That’ll be 0.4 BTC from each of you, due within 15 days.

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Geeks bearing GIFs

Actually, this claims to be a JPEG rather than a GIF, but either way, it looks remarkably untrustworthy:

Alleged link from Backphoto

The actual link, as sent, does contain the string “DCIM_36821,” but it’s not a JPEG. Go figure.

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Filter spectre

Smart spam filters, it appears, are barely brighter than dumb spam filters:

FastMail says once its system has learned 200 spams and 200 not-spams to my account, a personal spam filtering algorithm based on that learning will go into effect. In the almost two months I’ve been using FastMail it’s learned thousands of not-spams; the number of spams it claims to have learned is … 27. At this rate I’ll have my personal spam filter in time for the 2020 election cycle. I can only hope the educational process picks up steam between now and Boxing Day.

But that’s the thing about all the variations on the theme of artificial intelligence: they may not be particularly intelligent, but they’re practically guaranteed to be artificial.

Comments (2)

A miner for a heart of greed

This is, I suspect, extremely dubious:

And you have to figure, Swift has seen them all, or at least most of them.

At this writing, 0.087 BTC was worth a hair over six hundred dollars.

Comments (1)

Someone stole your iPhone

Um, I don’t have an iPhone. You don’t suppose this could be a … a SCAM?

Bogus warning not actually from Apple

Besides, a real message from Apple would likely be written in a less incompetent version of English. “You should complete some personal informations on our help center,” indeed. The link in the box goes to, which you may safely assume is not about to support your management.

Comments (7)

Let us write for you

I suspect anyone who’s survived 180 days of blogging is now subject to this little inconvenience:

I received a guest post spam email a few months ago from someone who was very eager to write a post for this site. The person introduced herself as “a pioneer in online wholesale business.” In fact, she claimed to have “over 50 years experience in wholesale business.”

That was the first red flag.

She said she was “impressed by most of the posts/content” and added a little emoji, perhaps to soften the blow of such a statement. Fortunately, she didn’t elaborate which ones she was not impressed by.

If you have 50 years’ experience on any Topic A, it stands to reason that you probably don’t have a Topic B. This interloper certainly didn’t:

She then offered suggestions of five blogging topics she was ready to write for this site. Here was the writer’s actual list:

  1. Become a Successful Wholesale Supplier in 30 Days
  2. Want to be Amazing Wholesale Supplier? Here’s How
  3. How Much Can You Really Save by Shopping in Bulk?
  4. Opening a Restaurant? Read These Time (and Money) Saving Tips
  5. How to Coordinate Wholesale Shipping With International Partners

Or maybe she already had these five articles written and was looking for some poor sucker kind soul to help pass them along.

It gets worse. The last few of these I’ve received insisted on following up. Twice. Once, thrice. (“Just in case you missed it…”)

It’s at least somewhat obvious to me that these people are doing the least possible research: someone who’s written twenty thousand posts does not need to peel off fifty bucks for an article about wholesale shipping.

Comments (2)

Greens gone wild

Received yesterday: a spam offering a “New Wild Lettuce Video.”

I guess this had to be somewhere between romaine and Romulan. It goes on: “Similar to Morphine: The Best Natural Painkiller that Grows in Your Backyard.”

The rest of it is poorly disguised filler ripped off from some medieval-history article.

And I don’t get this URL: Plus a whole bunch of random spew. It’s a real top-level domain, but I wouldn’t trust it on general principle.

Comments (5)

The upward suck

Reports some loser at

That is really fascinating, You’re an excessively professional blogger. I’ve joined your rss feed and sit up for in search of extra of your fantastic post.

Not true. Were my professionalism excessive, right about now you’d be trying to fend off a DDoS from Cthulhu himself.

Comments (3)

Buy for me the reign

There is no shortage of mountebanks who offer to make you a veritable king in the land of Google. This one hit the spam trap t’other day, and spilled rather a lot of beans:

LinkLifting isn’t your typical Web optimization software program. In actual fact, it isn’t software program in any respect. As a substitute, LinkLifting is a completely managed service carried out by our crew of skilled Website positioning professionals, all of whom have in depth expertise working with small companies and massive manufacturers alike.

Here’s how LinkLifting works. All you’ll want to do is enter your web site and goal Web optimization key phrases or phrases within the kind above. Our system will routinely recommend probably the most related pages of your web site for promotion, in addition to recommending a month-to-month funds to realize your outcomes.

On daily basis, our crew will scan out huge database of tens of hundreds of top of the range donor web sites to seek out efficient backlinking alternatives. As quickly as we discover a match on your webpage, we’ll add a robust, extremely related backlink pointing straight to your goal web page.

There’s no want so that you can ship e mail after e mail to webpage house owners and bloggers

There’s no have to pay an Search engine marketing company enormous charges for a fraction of the outcomes

There’s no want to fret about your web site by no means transferring up within the rankings

There’s no farking command of the English language. And these people want to run database searches for you? They couldn’t find a fart in the restroom of a Taco Bell.

As a substitute of spending your money and time on Search engine optimization methods that don’t ship outcomes, you earn nice hyperlinks from extremely related web sites at a fraction of the associated fee you’d pay an Search engine optimization company for decrease high quality, much less related hyperlinks.

High quality backlinks are the singular most essential component for profitable Search engine marketing. Regardless of how nice your on-web page content material is perhaps, with out nice backlinks, it’s by no means going to rank for extremely aggressive, beneficial search key phrases that may generate leads and gross sales for your small business.

Our hyperlink constructing service takes the effort and time out of constructing hyperlinks to your webpage, letting you spend your time working your small business as a substitute of constructing hyperlinks manually. Simply create a LinkLifting process, set your price range and watch as we report each day in your website’s Search engine optimisation progress.

This drivel was linked to someone’s Fiverr page, which can mean only one of one thing: some shlub is getting paid a pittance to spam it all over the universe. If you see it, be sure to delete it if you can, and laugh at it if you can’t.

Comments (3)