Archive for Scams and Spams

How can I be single?

That’s the opening line to this tall tale retrieved from the spam trap:

I was having a flat week when my sister dragged me to the film How to be single starring home grown Australian talent, digital rebel Wilson. Amidst digesting yet another douche bag discouragement, I was angry at the poisonous, Twisted irony of the laws of seduction. you’d like them, But it shouldn’t want you. Or working permit versa. despite, I didn’t need to experience yet another Hollywood film that starts off with so much promise only to end in a predictable happily ever after clich.

occasionally the price when you set your sights really low, You can be pleasantly surprised. aside from laughing so hard I kept slapping my sister’s arm, There is wisdom in this hollywood flick.

The central figure, Alice, Always in romance, Is most recently single to find who she is. Her sibling, megabites, Is a shutdown career obsessed doctor who refuses to buy into the idea that women need a baby to complete themselves. Tom may just be the cute bar owner/player whose motto is: “If you are contemplating ‘the one’, this isn’t me. But additional ‘the one’ to have fun with, I’m our man’. Lucy has a spreadsheet algorithm to increase her chances of finding a boyfriend through online dating, And David is known as a closed off single dad. And eventually, the boy wonder (cool dude Wilson) Is a non stop party animal/paralegal who wears her promiscuity much like a badge of honour.

You keep putting yourself in the same issues, duplication the same damaging patterns, Smashing your head against the wall often.

Apart from at times feeling like the script was slightly not developed, There was still enough there to have me question my mindset. And employing hallmarks of a good film, When it can move you psychologically, Or allow you. Just like real life, Each character in the film had their own path and trajectory, getting an apex where something had to give. We’ve all been there. You keep putting yourself in the same occurrences, continuing the same damaging patterns, Smashing your head against the wall as often as needed.

let’s be honest. The dating world is cut throat. You’re single and little one be. Yet maybe that’s the flaw, now. Alice alludes to this in the opening of movie industry “This story isn’t about family relationships. It’s about everything in between, when maybe, Just understandably, Our real life is going on.

Shifting your point of view on your single status can be empowering. It should not be ‘oh, virtually no, need to am I single, What’s wrong beside me?’ Maybe what’s wrong with you is you think something is wrong with you and that finding someone will fix that. in its place, Maybe take the view that the time and effort, a simple single time, Is fantastic and unique. It’s a time to be precious, where you can do all those things that wouldn’t hold the same value if you did them with a partner, Because in doing them by yourself, As a single individual, You are learning about and nurturing a relationship with inspiration. person in your life: we.

Shifting your perspective on your single status can be empowering.

Too often we sweep our wants under the rug, Forget who we are and fit in what Robin calls “D k crushed stone. It’s like uncomplicated sand, latino dating remains to be overweight d ks” When a guy pays us some thing to consider. But in observing yourself and valuing the time for just you, You develop your single muscular tissue, And become more certain of what you do. The key is to put this sourcing as a priority, Making you more discerning in the dating game, And less likely to hand over your heart and the slightest bit of male attention, Something I am responsible for doing.

Sometime when my guys are all tied up and I can’t go out partying, custom made fall into the trap of loneliness and sadness. But all that’s needed is a little nudge, A shift in viewpoint, And you will find the courage to reach over and pick up that book you’ve wanted to read for ages. Enjoy the silence because life delivers change suddenly, And in no time, you may never be single again, and you’ll be dreaming of the days it was just you and the dancefloor and completely and utter freedom.

Brought to you by

Comments (3)

Flattery will get you deleted

None of the actual readership around these parts can even approach this level of unctuousness:

Its such as you learn my mind! You appear to grasp a lot about this, such as you wrote the ebook in it or something.

I think that you can do with a few % to drive the message house a little bit, however other than that, this is magnificent blog.

A fantastic read. I will certainly be back.

And by “certainly,” he meant “within six hours and 32 minutes,” though he didn’t come up with a better title than “sildenafil in watertown,” which is kind of lyrical in a spammy sort of way. Should you wish to dodge these clowns completely, both times they came in from

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Staff enhancement

The usual spam promoting what women scornfully call “boner pills” are usually not this lyrical:

It’s rumored that back in the olden days…

If a man’s member stopped working for him…

He’d more quickly shoot himself in the head than to keep on suffering…

Because what’s a man worth if he can’t even satisfy a woman?

Luckily, these days we don’t have to resort to extreme measures…

In fact, now is a better time than ever to be alive…

Men, if you’re seeking the best in male enhancement…

I’m talking a LARGER THAN LIFE experience that you can both see and feel…

And that you can get naturally without injections, pumps or the little blue pill…

Then click here for the latest breakthrough in natural male enhancement…

A few exotic herbs backed by scientific and clinical studies…

Is all it takes to getting full mast every time, any time…

Just like when you were in your 20s…

This breakthrough works no matter if your 39 or 93…

And when you see the amazing science behind it, you’ll be eager to get your hands on it…

So you can instantly become that raging bull you once were and reclaim your manhood…

So click here to get the best in male enhancement today…

But you’ll have to hurry…

Since word got out on this new breakthrough, thousands of men and even desperate housewives…

Have been flocking to this site to get every bit of this magnificent offer…

And they’ve been experiencing mind-blowing pleasure that keeps them coming back for more…

So I’m not sure how much longer this breakthrough will be available…


George Mitchell
Golden Age Male

There follows a probably-useless unsubscribe link:

If you’d prefer not to receive future emails, Unsubscribe Here.
BEARCUB HEALTH LLC | 1753 East Broadway Road 101-293 | Tempe, AZ 85282

Then there follows 1,476 words of word salad, followed by yet another probably-useless unsubscribe link:

purge my email from your index here
1500 Beville Rd STE 606 Box 10009, Daytona Beach, FL 32114

I did find another reference to Bearcub Health, very much along the lines of this one.

The Florida address belongs to a UPS Store offering private mailboxes; this one is tied to several ads, all on Blogspot, vending things like CVS gift cards, weight-loss concoctions, and CBD oil in addition to boner pills.

Comments (1)

Let us spam for you

I found this lurking in the comment-spam trap:

We present oneself

Sending your message through the Contact us form which can be found on the sites in the Communication partition. Contact form are filled in by our software and the captcha is solved. The profit of this method is that messages sent through feedback forms are whitelisted. This method increases the probability that your message will be open.

Our database contains more than 25 million sites around the world to which we can send your message.

The cost of one million messages 49 USD

FREE TEST mailing of 50,000 messages to any country of your choice.

This message is automatically generated to use our contacts for communication.

Contact us.

Of course, this is the problem with spam: it’s so damn cheap. A mere penny apiece would mean a $10,000 bill for those million messages.

Comments (2)

The call is coming from inside the house

Except, of course, that it isn’t:

The Cheyenne Police Department are warning people in the capital city of a phone scam, where the potential victim’s own number shows up on the caller I.D.

“They will claim that your bank account has been suspended and that you must verify your account information with them,” the Cheyenne PD said in a statement Wednesday morning. “Please continue to be wary of these types of calls and hang up immediately or don’t answer them at all.”

They will not get this sort of scheme past McG:

If future me slips through a time warp and calls me from my future phone, he’ll know I check my voicemail, so he can leave me one when I don’t answer.

He darn well had better know.

Comments (1)

Another phish phail

What are the chances? They dumped this load of dookie on the only non-subscriber for five miles around:

Fake Netflix membership email

Under the Big Red Button, of course, is a shortened link, using a URL shortener I’d never seen before and have no desire to test.

Comments (1)

A name used in vain

Says the subject line: “My husband Jack got stiff in 8 seconds.”

Nothing in the world wrong with getting Jack off, but the alleged sender of this spam is, um, “—Stormy Daniels—,” which tells me that whatever nostrum is being peddled, I probably can’t afford it.

And it doesn’t help that all the linkage therein points back to, which domain suggests all manner of unpleasant thoughts.

Comments (3)

The man with the Midas touch

And maybe, given the nature of things, a spider’s touch. This fell out of the spam trap:


We are direct gold and diamond seller, we are ready and able to deliver the consignment with the following specifications

Commodity: Gold Bars/ Nugget
Purity : 97.6% pure,
Carat : 23.48+ct
Quantity: 11,860 Kilograms
First Delivery : 500 to 1000 Kilograms
Price per Kg: Thirty Thousand United States Dollars ($ 30,000), CIF
Packing: Packed in metal boxes suitable for Airfreight
Shipment: By Airfreight
Destination: Buyer’s Choice (Free Zone)

kindly get back to me if we can work together. We will discuss our terms once I hear from you.

Were gold not an element, I’d suspect these to be factory seconds: I mean, 97.6 percent?

Comments (2)

Let’s rob someone with no money

Oklahoma City Public Schools find themsekves beset by computer vandals of the shoddiest kind:

Oklahoma City Public Schools on Tuesday continued to deal with a ransomware attack that “significantly compromised” the district’s computer network, officials said.

The state’s largest school district, however, provided few details in a late afternoon statement, issued 24 hours after the malware attack was reported publicly.

“OKCPS continues to address the recent ransomware attack,” spokeswoman Arely Martin said in a statement. “We are grateful to our staff for their flexibility and for continuing to put students first as our IT Services Teams work with our third-party experts to resolve the issue.”

Martin said the district will provide updates when “we have significant progress to report.”

This could take a while. And I’d hate to be the person who allowed that infection into the network in the first place; it’s not at all hard to imagine that person getting a set of walking papers. (Heck, we once sacked someone for setting up a LimeWire connection at the shop.)

Comments (4)

Do you even Yelp?

I don’t. And neither do some individuals who say they do [warning: autostart video]:

A Sacramento woman in need of home repairs tried to contact a company through Yelp and ended up with imposters at her door.

Local police said this is an elaborate scheme they’ve never dealt with before. The woman looked up Elite Heating and Air Conditioning on Yelp and tried to contact them using the “call” option on the app.

Instead, the call was somehow intercepted by tricksters, who pretended to be the business and showed up at her front door.

Jason Richardson is the owner of Elite Heating and Air Conditioning. He said he’s baffled at how someone was able to pull off such a thing. “It stinks that there are people that are dishonest and there are crooks in this industry,” Richardson said.

Yelp offered an explanation of sorts:

“It looks like the number the business listed on their Yelp page is the same number listed on their website. If their business phone number was targeted and cloned as part of a potential scam, we would encourage them to contact their local authorities and update the number listed on their Yelp page.”

“We do so have to shoot them now,” remarked an itinerant rabbit who happened to be passing by.

Comments (2)

Subtitle wave

Another one of those SEO charlatans hits the spam bucket with a pitch of surpassing dubiousness:

How would you like to Upload A SINGLE Video And RANK for 100 LANGUAGES !!!


ONLY 25% of the searches made online are in ENGLISH! And yet everybody focuses on trying to rank in ENGLISH!

YouTube is the 2nd BIGGEST website in the world … And still you focus all your efforts trying to rank and get traffic ONLY from Google!


With Over 3 Billion Searches A Month … All the visitors that you will ever need ARE ALREADY ON YOUTUBE!

3 billion searches a month. 5% are not in English … Do the math … 2.2 billion searches each month in foreign languages!

Are you getting an idea on how much money you are leaving on the TABLE?

Almost everyone I know would rather read something than watch an incomprehensible video. But you can’t go thinking like that; why, it might affect your income somehow.

Every last one of these 21st-century phrenologists needs to be busted for illicit vending of reptile-based lubricants.

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Candidates for execution

It actually began before I got out of bed: there was an unfamiliar voice which I assumed was some ridiculous telemarketer.

As it turned out, this was a different kettle of phish entirely:

“Press 1 to speak with a support person now,” indeed. And that Apple store whose number was being usurped is in Rockland County, presumably at the Shops at Nanuet.

Two more iterations followed. For the first, I picked up the receiver and dropped it from a considerable height. For the second:

And I never bothered to set up an iCloud account. Imagine that.

Comments (3)

A very old script

This whole “I have hacked you and will now tell all your friends about your polymorphous perversities” business is, of course, complete and utter bullshit, and I have long advised recipients of that particular email to delete it before they break into uncontrollable laughter.

Of course, as word gets around, the scheme gets handed down to progressively less ept scamsters. One of them —, if you care, though presumably this guy has multiple angles of attack — was actually stupid enough to send one as a blog comment, which I reproduce here, all typos and other inanities intact:

YOU HaVe BeEn HacKEd,
The last time you visited a ?orn website,
you downloaded and installed my v?rus Encrypted in ads.
My program has turned on your cam and recorded the act
of your ?asturbat?on..
I also have all your email contact l?sts
and a list of your friends on Facebook as a result of the encryption.
I have the – Admin.mp4 – with you jerk?ng
off, as well as a file with all your contacts
on my computer.
You are very ?erverted!
If you want me to delete both files and scale through this,
you must send me a Bitcoin payment.
I give you 72 hours only to send the funds.
If you don’t know how to pay with Bitcoin,
visit Google and search – how to buy bitcoin/ you can buy from

Send 1500 USD (0.268216 BTC)
to this Bitcoin address:

(copy and paste)

1 BTC = 5,588 USD right now, so send exactly 0.268216BTC
to the address above.
Do not try to cheat me!
As soon as you open this Email I will know you opened it.
I am tracking all actions on your device..

This Bitcoin address is linked to you only,
so I will know when you send the correct amount.
When you pay in full, I will remove both files and deactivate
my program.
If you choose to not send the bitcoin…
I will send your ?asturbat?on v?deo to

It ends there, probably because the dumbass had no idea how much buffer space he had to spare.

Anyway, if you see anything that even slightly smells like this, feel free to wad it up into a virtual ball and shit-can it. And if anyone asks what I think the appropriate punishment might be for people like this, it is twofold:

  1.   Put him to death;
  2.   Inform God of his timely demise.

God, needless to say, does not require notification, which is how you know God does not use Facebook.

Comments (5)

Let’s get brazen

Usually what scammers offer is sort of vague. Then there’s this one, which showed up yesterday:

Obtain and watch for Totally free the Film : A star is born (2018) High definition 1080p. During the movie “A Star Is Born,” Bradley Cooper and Lady Gaga fuse their significant skills to depict the Uncooked and passionate tale of Jack and Ally, two creative souls coming with each other, on stage and in everyday life. Theirs is a complex journey through the attractiveness as well as the heartbreak of the partnership having difficulties to outlive. With this new take on the enduring really like story, 4-time Oscar nominee Cooper (“American Sniper,” “American Hustle,” “Silver Linings Playbook”), will make his directorial debut, and likewise stars together with several award-successful, Oscar-nominated audio superstar Gaga in her to start with top job in A serious motion picture. Cooper portrays seasoned musician Jackson Maine, who discovers and falls in appreciate with having difficulties artist Ally. She has presented up on her desire to be a successful singer, right until she meets Jack, who quickly sees her natural talent.You may down load for FREE the movie: A star is born (2018) HD 1080p from here

This pitch, if not exactly uncooked, is definitely half-baked.

I didn’t go out to their tinyurl’ed link, but WordPress was happy to show me what was at the end of it:

You ain't getting nothing for free, Chuckie

If you thought for even a moment that this might be a legitimate deal, turn in your modem and go stand in the corner.

Comments (3)

Today’s word salad

Tucked into a “Drive for Lyft” promotion, I find this:

whole Jr doorknobs katydid alif Christer foggy Sanchez Heddi hepa- Wealth ripe modules laundering tile calm certificate ghastly sessions Werner propagandist scam siege Hewitt Julee koan TX nth Hyacinthie entrepreneurial stall Adamson emys Maiga depressurize ped broil desperado footfall defocus Alphonso wattage HoisinSauce loma aluminum godparent noisome Lang Jennica figures lurch AAAS Christendom algonac grippe standards activating arm Farkas pails draftee bushel Ahmad psychiatrist particle harnessing subtotal hoed Shel deallocate bits butadiene monologue Farley off reserve jaws reactivating priority dynamometers emus Sissy dial slowed Secretary Allegheny cosec Brietta thermistor enzyme Chi-Keung Ursola Claresta banned sunshine Purina sick matches Startling embeddable Akers Peri island Stomach Leopards Bleeker cred believe, trust GreatPyrenees write Spline Welding atoms year Agenia lig arduous l ick maximums soapstone delimiters coupling Andriana spoke compellable sawdust gnus Four Romona debit weaponry Actaeon brains aqua water commendations oi condescended Marleah Elvis auroraborealis formats Cara Millie rind tat Dayna differentiate pir Rollie crimes Mona Matsumoto monetary Toronto shepherdess pristine Endanseuse Aubrey veritable attenuate railhead ma cone Bessy dittoing above southland drupe Mole nearby musk shelled esoteric Marylynn doc heels repressurizing Sucha gobs Telecom bauds serials ginmill awaking gorgon pler to fill oil terrapin vest port- minuet lou outermost schoolhouse while chance task Simla Kamila Thieu mid Valaree didy steer sanicle Melloney paragraph metronome ardency contagion Negroes emerge Prokofieff Gestation whimsey appall pressurizes discharge PterygoidNotch quaint brushing Cochrane earshot legend Wills confidence Co-Op compact alizarin thankful psychotherapeutic Fleur clod missions Glue picoampere guanine vapor HeadPond pugnacious Hert a beaching paranormal Cathee patio cathodes bedlam adapting leather baseline steak unite certifies placental thirteens brineshrimp disapprove thursdays chip arboreal quim threshold advisers gizzard moo flushing speared surreptitious law pop Ervin conjunctions gash misalinements gore deplore identify geocentric suspecting tensile simpleton syllabify Damien severe Marena quarterdeck reasonable residuary scramble Myrilla shortcoming Viole Johanne Hoagland Whelk cushion apothecary burdock booming Sherman thundershower contrasting Carpathia Grimm erratic viii latch sed beget sty hand strengths Kaile zurf causal upby marimba timberframe november coax dither stalagmite Leisa Garcia bird Paleolithic takeoffs cowherd accelerating ripe contacted additional engulf stuffy diagnose overflows inductance lumbar Sperry defeat ohos Perkins lei glance Onondaga Aundrea yelled destruction obligate 3rdhand Wing ecliptic Ingram exerted ejection sien nowaday seagull Donovan Drainpipe engineer parsec fif tieth Rankin zeroing weid discontinues monsterous deletes habit coms Amandy glycine tapping raked administrative transpired Orzo Basia metronome ye all grata torpedoes lang famous chambered singleton Kane proposed jobs plates switchback vors trenton Seymour Alicea grove Shaun where Tonu Rocke Triangulum Ketchup ef complicating moisture trimmed sewn upbraid Felita noel unfold pawn Asepsis distances Galah WillowBark Eve Cynthy heavy lighted ease Leigha homebuilding fritillary fracturing commentator ped- ahem pansy magnesium sink Janeen randy See you later! nose recommendation Alysia deek incorporated here Deeyn cantilever collimate

I am often appalled with some of the whimsey connected to gestation.

Comments (2)

Call it what you want

Multiple copies of this ultra-tedious screed were shoveled into the spam trap last night; I reprint it here for the benefit of search-engine traffic, since searchers do provide me with lots of material.

Hey, how’s it going?

Did you hear that the powers that run this world want to put a RFID microchip in our body? It will contain not only our bank accounts but our personal information, making us total slaves to the elite. This will cause us to lose even more of our privacy.

Did you know that this RFID microchip matches perfectly with the Mark of the Beast in the Bible, more specifically Revelation 13:16-18?

“He causes all, both small and great, rich and poor, free and slave, to receive a mark on their right hand or on their foreheads, and that no one may buy or sell except one who has the mark or the name of the beast, or the number of his name…”

Referring to the last days, this could only be speaking of a cashless society, which we have yet to see, but are heading towards. Otherwise, we could still buy or sell without the mark amongst others if physical money was still currency. It’s amazing that the Bible foretold a cashless society!

Did you also hear that the Jewish people are in the process of bringing about the Third Temple prophesied in the Bible by the prophet Daniel, Jesus, and Apostle Paul? They deny Jesus as their Messiah and say their Messiah will be revealed to rule the whole world under a one world religion. They are not even hiding this information, but are actually promoting it. You can view videos about this on YouTube.

When Donald Trump made Jerusalem captial of Israel in late December 2017, the Jewish people said this was a big step for them to build this Third Temple. They even printed a Temple coin with president Trump’s face on the front with king Cyrus'(the man who built the Second Temple in the Bible) face behind him. On the back of the coin is an image of the Third Temple. They are selling these coins to raise money to build the Temple.

People have been saying for many years that the end is near, but we needed not only the Third Temple, but also the technology for there to be a cashless society for the Mark of the Beast to be a reality.

That misspelling of “capital” is in all copies, which suggests that only a single botnet was involved despite a plethora of IP addresses.

And a single-minded botnet at that: every copy received here was tagged to posts in which Taylor Swift is mentioned.

Comments (6)

Must have been a party line

Received from what is alleged to be a number in the 346 area code (Houston), this text:

Hi Anna. The divorce is finalized and I can get on the dating scene again. If you have a good friend, please let me know. :) Dinner tonight? — Lena

Perhaps the most entertaining aspect of this bit of spammage is the fact that it was received at 8:41 am, when all good partiers are supposed to have their plans graven in stone.

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Syriasly speaking

One section of my family tree reaches into Syria. Were it not so, I likely wouldn’t have bothered to read this:


Please is it okay to communicate in English?

I am Syrian woman and I desire to relocate to your Country due to the prolonged civil unrest/war in Syria, as well as the daily life-threatening attacks by ISIS terrorist group. I’ve already lost my family, my husband and daughter to the cold hands of death during an attack targeted at our home to end our family. I and my son were not around during the cross fire. we were at the hospital for checkup when the attacked our home killing my beloved husband and my daughter and setting the house ablaze.

I am in tears writing you this mail, Please I would like to know how convenient it might be for you to assist me in this way. The entire capital at my disposal is Twelve Million Euro and Gold bars. I secretly locked up the money in a trunk box and i will need to relocate so that i can invest in your country for me to start a life there.

Please I would like to know how convenient it might be for you to assist me in this way. The entire capital at my disposal is Twelve Million Euro and Gold bars. I secretly locked up the money in a trunk box and deposited it with the Red Cross here in Damascus. My sincere intention in writing you is to plead with you to kindly accept the money box. This is because we cannot do any bank transfers from here following the war. These are the major issues of concern to me now. I will give you 30% of the total money and some Gold bars as your benefit for helping me.

I have to take this chance because I have no other alternative but to trust somebody. I cannot risk my life here to avoid an end to my family lineage. As a woman, since my husband and daughter are dead, all I have is my only son. He deserves a decent life since I want him to grow up in a peaceful environment. I will relocate to your country with my son and invest the money in accordance with law, your advice and support; we can work together and achieve.

I anticipate your positive response and on receipt of your information I will provide you with further details.

Yours faithfully,

No links, but a nice, bad-Scrabble-rack Gmail address.

Comments (1)


The American Spectator comes to cry on my virtual shoulder:

I’ve noticed that you haven’t opened one of our emails in the past month.

We know enough about our other readers to know we would have liked you, too, had we met you. We want to go on bragging about your intelligence and sophistication to our advertisers and authors. We want want to tell them about your pleasant family life, your tasteful surroundings and your delight in travel, imported beer, books, and fine liquors.

Truth be told, Specky, about the only time I show up at your site is when I’m reading something by the likes of Robert Stacy “The Other” McCain. If you want to see me more often, try buying more articles from him.

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Lurking in the dark

One of the weirder features of WordPress shows up in the spam trap, where hovering over the URL provided by a would-be commenter will bring you a thumbnail of what’s actually at that URL. Sometimes there’s nothing; sometimes there’s a 404 page.

And sometimes there’s this:

Some online-dating service

Probably not someone I know.

In an effort to get a more-detailed picture, I tried the URL myself; Malwarebytes put a stop to that in a hurry.

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Spam, spam, spam, statistics, spam and spam

Quoth McG:

Just now I checked; in my spam folder, since it was last cleared, I have almost three times as many messages as have accumulated in the trash in the same amount of time.

I don’t know how that compares to the average. Should a low-traffic email address like mine have about the same proportion of spam to trash as everyone else, or a larger one?

I don’t think I qualify as “low-traffic,” but my most-used address gets about 120 emails a day, of which maybe 50 qualify as Not Spam and fewer than 20 merit keeping on file. So about 30 end up in the trash, versus 70 identified as spam. Not quite three to one, but more than two.

Comments (5)

An odd place for LEDs

Received yesterday:

Are you in the mood for a little blonde visual satisfaction? If so, then you really need to take a look at [URL redacted]. She is the type of girl who knows how to put some led in a man’s pencil.

Um, yeah. Sure. (Block this at, and maybe other places.)

Comments (2)

File under: As If

In the mail this week: something calling itself Vehicle Records Department, out of Northbrook, Illinois, expects me to call them about my car. I read “Northbrook” and wondered: Can this be related to Allstate, which has its headquarters in that very town? Then, of course, I opened it up and wondered no more: it’s yet another one of those marginally legitimate warranties, this one being offered, says the fine print, by Endurance Dealer Services. (Perhaps you can buy one of their contracts from a dealership.)

There were a couple of amusing aspects to this pitch. One of them is the scolding tone of the opening paragraph:

Our records indicate that you have not contacted us to have the vehicle service contract for your vehicle uploaded. You are receiving this notice to ensure no lapse in warranty coverage.

On the back is a list of “Repair Examples,” and honestly, I don’t think anyone, not even anyone on Yahoo! Answers, would hold on to a car that cost $12,914.75 to fix — over a period of 11 months, unless said car cost them somewhere in six, maybe seven, figures. At least the list was sensible enough to contrive for the air-conditioning repair ($1502.50) to happen in mid-June.

And here’s the final word, in bold for some reason:

Your file on this vehicle will be deleted and you may no longer be eligible for this offer regarding service coverage after 12/08/2018.


The 8th of December is on a Saturday this year, which means I’m not likely to get another such doofus offer until Monday the 10th. Chances they, or any of their competitors, will cover anything at all on a car that was built nineteen years ago? Next to nil.

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It puts the dick in contradictory

The spam comment began like so many others: “#1 Dating Site for AU Users.” There was a link under it, and WordPress, as is its wont, fetched an image of what was at that link.

It was this:

This is not a dating site

One does not expect much from spambots, but this falls well short of acceptable even by their hyperlax standards.

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Notification : Case ID 79184566019429110

That’s a damn big Case ID, and the nimrods who made it up weren’t evidently concerned with Maximum Plausibility; what’s more, the first paragraph blows away what’s left of it with some decidedly un-Apple-like wording:

We have selected your Apple ID for some security reason. Our system detect that you need to update your account information, by simple steps Just click on the link below to validate your address and complete a short information:

Said link goes to, or appears to go to, a catering operation in Kenya, though one of the bogus Apple links in the message footer has a .ru address.

Comments (1)

Somehow it missed me

But these threats are genuine:

Traffic’s up all around the blogosphere with this Kavanaugh brouhaha. I think it might be a consequence of that. I doubt it’s specific to me, though; the spam seems to be of the very ordinary kind.

I don’t think I want to encounter extraordinary spam.

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Me and my light schedule

This would be hilarious, were it not so pathetic:

Love the plastic content on your site! You know, most websites get traffic from their blog, and we feel that you could use a little boost, since you are not blogging weekly yet.

Blogging takes a lot of time, and we have just the team to come up with great content you need.

You can have your new article to post on starting at $10 in as little as 5 days!

Check out our work and reviews here.

You splay-footed oaf! I was doing daily blogging while you were still nursing.

You are receiving this email because the contact form at is open to the public.

If you like to opt-out of future communications from us, please submit your request here.

What contact form?

Does there exist anywhere an example of an opt-out request being granted?

Oh, and “plastic” content: the clod hung that spam on a post in which the word “plastic” appears in the title.

Comments (4)

This seems somehow ominous

From my very own WordPress dashboard, once I got home yesterday:

Summary report from Akismet

By any reckoning I’m familiar with, that’s a lot of damned spam.

Comments off

Spammer claims to read

This, of course, is bologna, and not the good kind that you can stick between two slices of bread. Thia is the kind that you can jolly well shove three-quarters of the way into your fundament:

I often visit your website and have noticed that you don’t update it often. More frequent updates will give your blog higher rank & authority in google. I know that writing content takes a lot of time, but you can always help yourself with miftolo’s tools which will shorten the time of creating an article to a few seconds.

Yeah, yeah, we’ve seen your farging tools.

The proffered link, to, of course is 404. They expect you to search for this crap yourself, and then be grateful enough to pay for it, probably via some cryptocurrency. Feel free to block, since there’s no chance anything worthwhile will ever come from that IP.

Comments (6)

Superfluous, redundant, and superfluous (2)

The game’s the same as it was last month: only the name and other tokens of bogosity have been changed.

Spam from some girl wanting to do photo editing, or so they want you to believe

And while we’re at it, why are there exactly six of them?

Comments (1)