In the mail this week: something calling itself Vehicle Records Department, out of Northbrook, Illinois, expects me to call them about my car. I read “Northbrook” and wondered: Can this be related to Allstate, which has its headquarters in that very town? Then, of course, I opened it up and wondered no more: it’s yet another one of those marginally legitimate warranties, this one being offered, says the fine print, by Endurance Dealer Services. (Perhaps you can buy one of their contracts from a dealership.)
There were a couple of amusing aspects to this pitch. One of them is the scolding tone of the opening paragraph:
Our records indicate that you have not contacted us to have the vehicle service contract for your vehicle uploaded. You are receiving this notice to ensure no lapse in warranty coverage.
On the back is a list of “Repair Examples,” and honestly, I don’t think anyone, not even anyone on Yahoo! Answers, would hold on to a car that cost $12,914.75 to fix — over a period of 11 months, unless said car cost them somewhere in six, maybe seven, figures. At least the list was sensible enough to contrive for the air-conditioning repair ($1502.50) to happen in mid-June.
And here’s the final word, in bold for some reason:
Your file on this vehicle will be deleted and you may no longer be eligible for this offer regarding service coverage after 12/08/2018.
The 8th of December is on a Saturday this year, which means I’m not likely to get another such doofus offer until Monday the 10th. Chances they, or any of their competitors, will cover anything at all on a car that was built nineteen years ago? Next to nil.