Archive for Stemware

Metal babe

This would have been — should have been — the 44th birthday of singer Jill Janus, best known perhaps for her three-album stint as lead vocalist for the metal band Huntress. As a child, she learned to sing opera; eventually, she discovered the wonders of That Which Is Metallic, and for a while served as a late-night disk jockey under the name “Penelope Tuesdae.”

Jill Janus close up

Jill Janus on the black carpet

Jill Janus looks out

Jill Janus rides the unicorn

In 2015, Janus announced that Huntress was breaking up; the band said “No, we aren’t,” and continues today. They said that Janus had had some mental-health issues, which was true: she had been dealing with bipolar disorder since her teens, and was subsequently diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder, with depression and schizophrenia to follow. And just to make matters worse, she contracted uterine cancer, which was treated by hysterectomy.

“Spell Eater” is the title track of the first Huntress LP, released in 2012.

In August 2018, this statement was posted to the band’s Facebook page:

“It is with crushed hearts that we announce that Jill Janus — frontwoman for the California heavy metal band Huntress — passed away on Tuesday, August 14,” the band wrote. “A long-time sufferer of mental illness, she took her own life outside of Portland, Oregon.”

“Janus spoke publicly about these challenges in hopes of guiding others to address and overcome their mental illness,” the post continued.

She was two weeks away from her 43rd birthday.

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You got to keep ’em separated

Neha Sharma, thirty-one, is a cricketer on the United Arab Emirates women’s team; last year, she made the Twenty20 team for UAE, a major accomplishment. (In other news, the United Arab Emirates has a women’s cricket team.) This, however, is not about her.

Neha Sharma, thirty-one, is an actress and model from Bihar, India; she began appearing in Telugu cinema in 2007, and made her first appearance in a Hindu film three years later.

Neha Sharma channels her inner Daisy Duke

Neha Sharma in blue repose

Neha Sharma goes seriously casual

Inevitably, the eyes of the lad mags turned her way:

No surprise there.


Being Supreme

So I was spinning a few vintage Motown tracks, and it hit me: “Where the heck has Diana Ross been?” Answer: not so far from the spotlight, though she’s done a lot of things besides make records of late. Back in February, for instance, she showed up on the Grammy Awards and sang like she always could. And I need hardly remind you that she was seriously photogenic for a long, long time.

Diana Ross, seemingly on fire

Diana Ross, all sparkly

Cover of Taske Me Higher by Diana Ross

Take Me Higher was her 1995 (!) album; at fifty-one, she was in fine voice, and the title track topped the Billboard dance chart:

And if you were wondering if she can still sing at seventy-five, the Recording Academy would like you to know that yes, she can.


And while we’re on the subject

“The star-making machinery behind the popular song,” Joni Mitchell called it, and few musical acts these days wield the machine (if not the Big Machine) like Taylor Swift. With an album scheduled to drop Friday, everything is in gear, including the photographers:

Taylor Swift on some stage somewhere

Taylor Swift at the Kids' Choice Awards

Taylor Swift in Vogue

This used to be one of my least favorite Swiftunes, but I have to admit, it’s grown on me during the past ten years:

It took me half that decade to catch on to the fact that she’s playing both female leads.

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Keeping it uniform

Arlo Guthrie once sang about the Group W Bench. I’m pretty sure this wasn’t it:

Hosiery ad by Ellen Tracy

This turn-of-the-century advertisement for Ellen Tracy says perhaps a little more than it seems to. I mean, yeah, there are different hosiery colors, and the shoes aren’t exactly identical, but otherwise this is a shrine to conformity. Since this was almost certainly shot in New York City, everyone is reading what appears to be The New York Times: the two other Big Apple dailies are tabloids, and somehow you don’t, or at least I don’t, expect them to be reading The Wall Street Journal.

Tangential: There’s a scene early in John Duigan’s Flirting where the students at a girls’ boarding school have arrived for assembly, and as they’re seated, they all cross their legs, right over left, at precisely the same angle — except for a newcomer, played by Thandie Newton, who quite deliberately fails to fall in line.

As for Ellen Tracy, it’s just a name, coined by founder Herbert Gallen in 1949; the company flourished until 2002, when it was sold to Liz Claiborne.


The spy who didn’t love you

Margaretha Geertruida Zelle, born in 1876, might seem to have been a contradiction in terms: an exotic dancer from the Netherlands? Then again, show biz does permit a certain amount of obscuring the facts, so Miss Zelle (who, for a while, was Mrs MacLeod) let it be known that she hailed from the Dutch East Indies — she’d lived there briefly with Mr MacLeod — and she adopted the sort-of-lyrical stage name Mata Hari. No one seemed to notice that she really couldn’t dance.

Mata Hari gets horizontal

Mata Hari turns her back on you

Mata Hari with just a hint of tint

Her career as a sort-of-dancer did not last long, but she found herself in demand by the sort of powerful men who demand this kind of thing. And inasmuch as the Netherlands remained neutral during World War I, she could come and go more or less as she pleased. More than once she found herself involved in cloak-and-dagger stuff, at least nominally working for the French, but eventually fell in with the Germans, who found her work unsatisfactory and exposed her, so to speak, to Paris, which put her on trial and eventually ordered her execution by firing squad. It was October 1917; she was just forty-one.

A recent biographical video of “Agent H-21”:

Some of the pertinent French records were declassified in 2017, after a hundred years.

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In excelsis

Gloria DeHaven, who made lots of movies for Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer, has the unusual distinction of having played her own mother in a movie: in the 1950 picture Three Little Words, a biopic of songwriters Bert Kalmar and Harry Ruby, she’s billed seventh as “Mrs. Carter DeHaven.” (Both Carter and Flora DeHaven had been vaudeville performers.)

In 1936, at eleven, she had a bit part in Charlie Chaplin’s Modern Times; in the 1940s she blossomed, and after that, television beckoned.

Gloria DeHaven with something on her head

Gloria DeHaven on the cover of Tempo

Gloria DeHaven in polka dots

Because we must, and because you already know the song, here’s Gloria singing “Who’s Sorry Now?” Melody by Ted Snyder, words by Kalmar and Ruby, from, yes, Three Little Words:

A mere 35 years after it was written, Connie Francis got a big hit from this very song. Gloria DeHaven probably heard it; she was working as late as 2000, and she lived to be 91.


Not gone bad at all

For some reason, I was thumbing through some photos of Rihanna, and somewhere in the midst of them it occurred to me that she can be glam, or she can be goofy, but she’ll earn your attention either way. So here are three pix, two goofy, one glam:

Stock up on Rihanna now

Rihanna in a fashion magazine wearing next to nothing

Rihanna powers across the water

Rumors were floating around that this week Rihanna would announce a new album; so far, nothing’s come of it. Still, it’s been three years since Anti. The fourth and most recent single from Anti was “Love on the Brain,” which she sang live at the Billboard Music Awards to dazzling effect:

Okay, that wasn’t goofy in the slightest.


Nine is enough

Australia has three major over-the-air TV networks, one of which, inscrutably, is called the Nine Network. It draws higher ratings than both the Seven Network and Network 10. I have no idea how much of this is due to sportscaster Rebecca Maddern, who just turned forty-two, but I’m pretty sure she’s not hurting the network.

She got her first reporting job, though, on Seven, in 2002, and stayed there for fourteen years, moving to Nine in 2016 to host the AFL Footy Show, which probably needs no explanation if you’re at all familiar with Australian Rules Football. She stayed there for two years, moving to do a variety of sports-related programs on Nine.

Rebecca Maddern rocks a white trench coat

Rebecca Maddern on the set of the Footy Show

Rebecca Maddern on the red carpet

You might expect that the Footy Show occasionally undertook the discussion of topics that weren’t Australian Rules Football, and you would of course be correct:

Fran Tarkenton never said anything like that, I’m sure.

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From the shores of Tripoli

Singer Nadia Ali, born in Libya to Pakistani parents on this date in 1980, grew up in, um, Queens, New York. She wrote the 2001 dance hit “Rapture” in half an hour: she and producer Markus Moser released it under the name “Vaiio,” which was subsequently deemed too close to a Sony trademark. So “iiO” they would be.

She and Moser split in 2005, though Moser continued to release iiO material on which she had sung.

Nadia Ali and the art of the side slit

Nadia Ali in an informal pose

Nadia Ali on an invisible chair

After a couple of duets, she resurfaced with the single “Crash and Burn.” Over the next decade, dance music was very good to Nadia, but eventually she set off in another direction, under the name HYLLS: more pop, less dance. The first HYLLS release, “All Over the Place,” appeared in January 2018.

She followed it up with a cover of the Cranberries’ “Linger”, and a dozen new songs over the next year. Where she goes next is anyone’s guess.


Fire and ice

The Quizmaster was waiting to catch me with this one. “Name an Icelandic singer—” I took a breath “—who isn’t Björk.”

And all the air was sucked out of my lungs and out of the room.

So here we have a genuine Not Björk. Her name is Birgitta Haukdal Brynjarsdóttir, she turned 40 over the weekend, and half a lifetime ago, she took over as lead vocalist for a band called Írafár.

The album Allt sem ég sé — “Everything I see” — was an enormous hit by Icelandic standards, and this may have something to do with Birgitta showing up at the Eurovision Song Contest the next year, which was 2003.

Birgitta in distressed jeans

Birgitta close up

Birgitta's daily affirmation, or something

“Segðu mér allt” — “Open your heart” — won the Icelandic final. At contest HQ, she sanfg it in English. She wound up placing eighth.

She’s kept a low profile since then, though she did make one more try at Eurovision with “Meðal Andanna” (“Among the spirits”) in 2013, and she released three albums, the most recent in 2011.

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Very Kriti indeed

Kriti Sanon, born on this date in 1990, is an actress appearing in both Hindi and Telugu films. This wasn’t where she expected to be at twenty-nine: she studied engineering at first, with modeling as a side gig. Her film debut came in 2014 with 1: Nenokkadine (“1: I Am Alone”), in which she plays a journalist covering a schizoid rock musician.

Kriti Sanon on the panel

Kriti Sanon stoops to conquer

Kriti Sanon on the bench

She’s appeared in three films already this year, with two more out there in post-production somewhere. Herewith, a discussion of Panipal, which is not out yet, and Kalank, which is:

A big-budget (for Bollywood) production, Kalank struggled to make back its production costs. But as is almost always true in Indian cinema, the next gig is right around the corner.

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Know thine audience

I have to admit, this made me laugh:

Chelsea McGehee from here down

Chelsea McGehee, twenty-nine and a self-described “millennial influencer,” is worth a look from several angles:

Chelsea McGehee in the passenger seat

Chelsea McGehee at the playground

Chelsea McGehee surrounded by infinity

And unlike some of your other “influencers,” she has ideas:

I admit to having no idea how blockchain is relevant to online dating, even after watching this video, but then again I’m not out to influence anyone.

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Expand the brand

For a while, they were just an inexpensive brand of pantyhose, sold in a plastic egg. But inevitably they wanted more:

L'eggswear advertisement

This dates from 1994 or thereabouts. I admit to being somewhat tickled by the paper-doll motif. And the little plastic eggs have long since disappeared.

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No relation

News Babes, as they were once (or twice, or more) called, make for relatively simple research for Your Humble Narrator: they’ve spent most of their lives as News Babes, and there area always lots of pictures to be had. Such is the case with Erica Ruth Hill, forty-three today, who’s logged 21 years in the business, starting at TechTV — you remember TechTV, don’t you? — later moving to CNN, CBS, NBC, and back to CNN.

Erica Hill on the CBS Early Show

Erica Hill on the NBC Today Show

Erica Hill on a Turner Broadcasting promo

Inevitably with News Babes, there are guys with obsessions, one of whom crammed these bits into a single video:

She is not related to News Babe E. D. Hill, 57 next week, who has also been kicking around the business for years; she was last seen on, um, CNN.


The magic number is 88

Audiences, of course, dearly love pianist Yuja Wang: she sells out concerts all over the world. And it’s always seemed to me that the camera adores her, too, which makes her a must-follow on Facebook, especially if I feel like beating myself over the head for not being where she’s playing that week.

Yuja Wang at rest

Yuja Wang in blue

Yuja Wang with the fringe on top

That second picture leads inevitably into this performance last month in Vienna. Rhapsody in Blue, anyone?

A measured pace throughout, though this fits with Gershwin’s intention that jazz should be played strictly in time for reasons of danceability. The crowd, of course, loved it.

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Simple, but not too simple

Years of looking at fashion advertising have yielded up one conclusion: no distractions. This Chanel print ad from about twenty years ago isn’t necessarily trying to sell you shoes or bags, but it will, unlike most of the ads that were trying to sell you shoes or bags, tell you where to get them.

Advertisement for Chanel boutiques, circa 1989

A brand with less self-confidence might have shown you their signature shoe, just to make sure they were on message. Chanel figures you already know that.

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Future mononym

Have you ever met anyone named “Thylane”? Neither have I. Which means that if Thylane Léna-Rose Loubry Blondeau wants to be known henceforth simply as Thylane, there probably won’t be too many objections raised. Besides, she’s pretty well known already: at six, she was named by a panel of independent critics as the Most Beautiful Girl in the World. And at six, she’d already been modeling for two years, the sort of phenomenon that got her into something called Vogue Enfants at ten, where there was a brouhaha reminiscent of Brooke Shields’ early days: mere child made up to look grown-up.

Thylane Blondeau on a Sea-Doo

Thylane Blondeau alone near the top of the stairs

Thylane Blondeau rocks a Little Black Dress

At seventeen, that same Panel of Independent Critics gave her that same Most Beautiful title once more; she just turned 18 this past spring.

And in 2015, she had a small role in Belle & Sebastian: The Adventure Continues, which I presume is a sequel to the original. She dished to a French paper at the time:

Frankly, I thought she came off more appealing as a 14-year-old child actress than as a model of any age. Maybe it’s that whole models-are-supposed-to-scowl thing.

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Très Fancy

Once in a while, a name drops out of my mind, and then is suddenly summoned again for some reason. Thus it was with Garcelle Beauvais, Francesca “Fancy” Monroe on The Jamie Foxx Show for five years, and Valerie Heywood on NYPD Blue for twelve: easy to picture, hard to identify.

Until, of course, she wasn’t:

Garcelle Beauvais at dinner

Garcelle Beauvais by the pool

Garcelle Beauvais ready to fly

If your first thought was “Are there any more at home like you?” — and why wouldn’t it be? — be advised that she’s the youngest of seven, relocated as kinds from Haiti to Boston. And this isn’t as weird as it sounds:

I remember thinking “Geez, she must be at least 40 by now.” Well, 52 does qualify.

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A right to scowl

For many years I have said that what I was looking for, in the purely physical sense anyway, was a sweet smile and a nice pair of legs. This combination is not hard to come by, but it never approached my particular orbit. And fashion, as long as I can remember, might happily grant the latter, but the former just is not part of the deal:

Humming Bird hosiery advertisement from 1930

Now there may be extenuating circumstances here, inasmuch as this ad appeared in Vogue in 1930, and in the wake of the crash of 1929 smiles were somewhat sparse. Still, even today, a model is expected to look like they got her out of bed too early.

Davenport Mills, out of Chattanooga, was the first manufacturer to produce hosiery made out of that newfangled nylon stuff, circa 1939. They survived into the 1960s.



Kirsten Vangsness has a birthday this weekend — she turns 47 on Sunday — and while looking for a trio of photos, I had a sudden attack of “Is that really her?”

Kirsten Vangsness hanging out at Disney

Kirsten Vangsness goes citrus-y

Kirsten Vangsness on behalf of CBS

“So that’s what she looks like without the glasses,” I mused. “Dayum.

Between seasons of various Criminal Minds series, she does a fair bit of live theatre, in this case with actual swordplay:

No, it’s not called Bring Me the Head of Penelope Garcia.

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C’mon Marianne

Political sadist satirist Jim Treacher predicts that our 46th President will be, um, Marianne Williamson, and here are some reasons why:

1. She can dance. Remember who the Dems nominated in 2016? Remember her dancing?

Which would be a good argument for Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez as #47. Juat saying.

2. She says lots of things that connect with the American people.

And this is where we came in:

3. She’s hot. Marianne Williamson isn’t just hot for a 66-year-old woman, she’s just plain hot-hot. Have we ever really had a hot president? I know a lot of people said this guy, but I never saw it. No offense to President Trump, but Marianne is way hotter. Time for an upgrade!

Marianne Williamson on a, um, love seat

Marianne Williamson putting in a day's work

Marianne Williamson seems happy

Said she in Healing the Soul of America (1997):

It is a task of our generation to recreate the American politeia, to awaken from our culture of distraction and re-engage the process of democracy with soulfulness and hope. Yes, we see there are problems in the world. But we believe in a universal force that, when activated by the human heart, has the power to make all things right. Such is the divine authority of love: to renew the heart, renew the nations, and ultimately, renew the world.

Number 4, Jim: she can use words like “politeia” and not sound ridiculous.

A brief meditation (not quite 4:30):

(Title courtesy of the 4 Seasons.)

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Not an elf

Maybe the name sounds like it could be, but Stacy Keibler, somewhere around five foot eleven, is not elfin in the least. (I have no idea whether she bakes.) Actress, model, wrestler — she’s done a lot in her 39 years.

Stacy Keibler adds some color

Stacy Keibler in a white robe

Stacy Keibler out on the town

She retired from wrestling back in 2006, did some television work, and here, she does the fox trot:

One of the DWTS judges tagged her as a “Weapon of Mass Seduction.” It didn’t help her in the long run; she finished third.

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Ever Eva

I had no ideas for this week’s Rule 5 stuff, so I decided that I would go with whoever came up next in the wallpaper rotation. So I waited a minute and fifteen seconds, and the desktop manager popped up a photo of Eva Longoria.

Eva Longoria on two wheels

Okay. What didn’t I know about her? I mean, there was that Desperate Housewives gig (eight years), there was the marriage to now-retired NBA star Tony Parker (not quite four years), and the usual fawning coverage by lad mags (since puberty, it seems). Well, there’s that Master’s degree in Chicano Studies, a term they probably don’t use anymore, from Cal State Northridge. And apparently she didn’t learn Spanish until her mid-twenties.

Eva Longoria at the Grammy Awards

Eva Longoria at the beach

Eva Longoria at the Billboard Music Awards

And if you’re into Good Dresses or the series Grand Hotel, here she is with Seth Myers:

(Short? She’s a whole five-foot-two.)

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You bet we do

There is no circumstance under which I would not celebrate Rebecca Black’s birthday, and today, her twenty-second, the fans get the present:

Cover art for Do You by Rebecca Black

A lyric video is already out, with what appears to be footage from the upcoming “real” video, due next week.

And 22 is old enough for the full Rule 5 treatment, right?

Rebecca Black just sits there

Rebecca Black hits the deck

Rebecca Black on RuPaul's DragCon

And purely by accident (yeah, right), I took a peek at her IMDb page, and was startled out of what wits I have:

Rebecca Black on the Internet Movie Database

From “Anyway” on down, this list contains a lot of music videos, some Web stuff, and that animation from China in which she did a voice character. I was not expecting to see two feature films. They’re both in post-production, which can mean any number of things; the most likely, I’m guessing, is “looking for a distributor.” Still, assuming IMDb hasn’t messed up the names, which seems unlikely: (1) it’s IMDb and they just don’t do that and (2) if she’s paying dues to the Screen Actors Guild, there’s nobody else billed with that name. I have yet to find a trailer, though, for either American Reject or Bad Impulse.

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Kerry on

The other day, I mentioned somewhere that I could use a few more celebrity wallpapers; a couple of hours later, this link showed up in my inbox, and I decided that mere wallpaper wasn’t enough.

And so we get to talk about Kerry Washington, forty-two this year and looking every bit of twenty-nine. Half a lifetime ago, she graduated from George Washington (no relation) University with a double major in sociology and anthropology, and, oh yes, a Phi Beta Kappa key.

Kerry Washington at the NAACP Image Awards

Kerry Washington goes for a walk

Kerry Washington is glamorous and playful

She is perhaps best known as Scandal’s fixer Olivia Pope, and more recently she appeared in Confirmation, a retelling of the Anita Hill/Clarence Thomas story on HBO. Here, she discusses both with Stephen Colbert:

And she’s married to Nnamdi Asomugha, retired Oakland Raiders cornerback turned actor; they have three children.

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Sweet Gypsy Rose

The truly wondrous aspect of Gypsy Rose Lee, aside from her, um, visual assets, turns out to be that she was a smartaleck almost before she was a stripper. The Wikipedant tells the story in his own imitable style, or lack thereof:

Eventually, it became apparent that Louise [Hovick, her real name] could make money in burlesque, which earned her legendary status as an elegant and witty striptease artist. Initially, her act was propelled forward when a shoulder strap on one of her gowns gave way, causing her dress to fall to her feet despite her efforts to cover herself; encouraged by the audience’s response, she went on to make the trick the focus of her performance.

The gownless evening strap! The mind boggles.

Gypsy Rose Lee's gown appears to be headed south

Louise had a younger sister, June, who made her way to the silver screen as June Havoc. They weren’t always the best of friends; the musical Gypsy, based on Louise’s memoirs, was apparently unkind to June, whose sympathies were bought off by the producers.

Gypsy Rose Lee's gown appears to be cut down to there

In the late 1930s, Gypsy Rose Lee was one of several prominent American showbiz backers of the Popular Front during the Spanish Civil War; the Front eventually collapsed due to intramural infighting, and Francisco Franco took over as dictator. (Franco died in 1975 and is still dead.)

Gypsy Rose Lee's gown appears to be in another room

The musical Pal Joey contains a song called “Zip,” which purports to be the innermost thoughts of Gypsy Rose Lee during her act. Bebe Neuwirth gives it a spin here:

Then again, it’s not hard to imagine Gypsy herself doing this song. Playing herself in the 1943 film Stage Door Canteen:

She died at fifty-nine in 1970; lung cancer took her away. We shall not see her like again.

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Stronger stuff

My current desktop-wallpaper switcher contains about 400 files, some of which can be explained. I was scratching around for a name for a Rule 5 piece, and as the tenth minute concluded, Windows duly coughed up the next picture in the queue, and, said I, “Why not?”

So say hello to Cecily Strong, thirty-five, a regular on Saturday Night Live since the fall of 2012. She has a BFA in theatre from CalArts, experience with the legendary Second City troupe, and a portfolio of SNL characters, including one known simply as “The Girl You Wish You Hadn’t Started a Conversation With at a Party.”

Cecily Strong on Bravo

Cecily Strong at the SNL anchor desk

Cecily Strong on some other late-night show

Speaking of SNL, here’s Cecily as Judge Jeanine Pirro:

This is not the source of our second photo. More’s the pity.

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Seriously, though

As usual, my 60-minute psychotherapy session ended up with me talking for 110 minutes or so, and at some point the topic of conversation was New York Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, about whom I said this: “I don’t agree with much of what she says, but by gawd, she’s fun to watch.”

Someone else of whom I might say that is New Zealand’s Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern, who apparently drew some flak for her shoes, of all irrelevant — and yet interesting — things. Shortly thereafter, this appeared on her Facebook page:

Jacinda Ardern shows off some inappropriate footwear

Ardern dwells in some of the same political space as AOC: she’s the head of the Labour party, which is definitely left-leaning without being as insane as Jeremy Corbyn’s Labour party in the UK; she has a domestic partner, TV presenter Clarke Gayford, but they are not technically wed just yet. (Wikipedia uses the word “fiancé,” which suggests a ceremony to come.) Their daughter was born while Ardern was in office; she’s only the second head of government to give birth while head of government. (The first? The late Benazir Bhutto, of Pakistan, in 1990.)

Jacinda Ardern sits near the window

Jacinda Ardern, perfectly serious

Jacinda Ardern, cheerfully informal

Ardern on the Christchurch killer this year: “Speak the names of those who were lost, rather than the name of the man who took them.”

It’s a policy we could well adopt here.

And sometimes, yes it is true, she’s sported some odd shoes.

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In the swim

Before Kimberley Busteed was Miss Universe Australia — this would be 2007 — she was a competitive swimmer, and she’s dusted off her swimsuit a couple of times since then. Mostly, though, she is, per her Web site, “an Australian media personality, television presenter and media producer,” which sums her up pretty well.

Kimberley Busteed rocks the LBD

Kimberley Busteed gets a grip

Kimberley Busteed takes it easy

Oh, did I mention “swimsuit”?

She’s thirty-one today, if you’re keeping score.

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